Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.

Hyde: Forman, why'd you have to tell Red you got engaged? Look at him, yelling and waving. Oh! A little spit just landed on Bob. Bob's so scared, he's not even wiping it off.
Eric: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This time Red is really gonna kill me. My only hope is that he actually sticks his foot so far up my ass... he can't pull it out, and I get to take him straight to hell with me.

Fez: Well, It was incredible. Nina and I started out kissing in the living room. Then we moved into the bedroom, where we undressed. And, uh, well, then... Then we did it.
Kelso: What... Details, Fez. We need details!
Fez: Well, our faces didn't line up right, so I kept bumping my chin on her nose. And then there were some sounds.
Hyde: What kind of sounds?
Fez: Well, I will say this, it was not applause. There was no romantic music like in the movies, so I had to hum. And then Nina told me to stop humming. And, uh, then I started again without realizing it. And then she got mad. And then I think she got sad.
Jackie: Oh, well, don't worry, Fez. She probably just felt bad she was doing it with a foreigner.
Fez: And then afterwards, I went into the bathroom, and, uh... And cried a little. And then I snuck out the back door.
Donna: Poor Fez. Well, you know, at least it couldn't have been any worse.
Fez: I left my underwear in her bathroom.

Fez: Oh, working with someone you have had sex with is the worst thing ever. I don't know how Donny and Marie do it.