Kitty: Eric and Donna can't be engaged. They're too young. How does something like this happen?
Jackie: Well, Eric asked her to marry him and instead of saying "Ew!," like a normal person Donna said "Yes."
Kitty: Well, I don't like secret-keeping in my house. What else is going on that I don't know about?
Hyde: Ooh. There is something else. In the back left corner of Forman's closet, he has stashed some highly offensive photographic material.
Kitty: Well, this has gotta stop. Eric should have told me about his engagement, because in this house we do not keep secrets.
Red: [enters] What are you talking about?
Kitty: Cheesecake. Different types of cheesecake.
Red: Oh. Sorry I missed it. [exits]
Kitty: Don't judge me.

Red: Kitty. You know what I just found out about Eric?
Kitty: You found out?
Red: He lied to us. He's spending the night at Donna's.
Kitty: Oh!
Red: What did you think it was?
Kitty: He has dirty magazines in his closet. Our son is a pervert. I'm just gonna go pray for him.

Bob: Hey, Donna. Feast your eyes. All new stuff for me and Joanne's weekend away at tennis camp.
Joanne: Billie Jean King's sister is leading the campfire songs.
Bob: We're gonna make quite the racket. [laughs]
Fez: Good one, Bob.

Kelso: Bob's going out of town for the weekend? All right, party at Donna's. Okay. We're gonna need beer, balloons and girls with low self-esteem.
Eric: Guys, hang on. Donna and I already made plans this weekend.
Hyde: Well, then just leave us a key, man. And don't worry, if anything bad happens, I know how to make it look like a robbery-homicide.
Donna: Look, Eric and I want one weekend alone where we don't have to be so secret about being engaged. I could even wear my ring if it weren't being resized for me.
Jackie: Can they make a ring big enough to fit your Paul Bunyan hands?
Donna: Jackie?
Jackie: Well, I'm sorry, Donna but if you're not gonna have a party, you're gonna get insulted. It's just the way it is.
Hyde: The way I see it, unless Donna's blocking the door with her giant hands, we're coming over for a party.
Kelso: Oh-Oh! We should get one of those girls that jump out of cakes. Yeah. They're great. You know, you two could do a little less standing around and a little more jumping out of cakes.

Red: Why are you doing your homework in the morning?
Eric: Uh, I was out last night with Donna.
Red: Well, of course you were. That's why you came in a half hour past the curfew.
Eric: Oh, well, Donna had a flat.
Red: Oh. That's awful bad luck. Seeing how Donna doesn't have a car. I see you getting bigger but you still act like a 12-year-old. Now, when are you gonna grow up and start thinking about your future?

Bob: Oh, the plumber took apart the toilet upstairs, so you'll have to use this one. I know it's scary down here at night, but-
Joanne: She'll be fine. Let's go.
Bob: Just when you come around that corner in the dark, that coat rack can look like a bear.

Kelso: All right! Party time! I brought the Slip 'n Slide. Let's move the couch.
Fez: Okay. I'll get the hose.
Kelso: No, no, we don't need the hose, man. We'll just use beer.
Donna: Kelso, are you nuts?
Kelso: You're right. We don't wanna waste the beer. Go get the hose, man.
Eric: No! Guys, we said, no party.
Hyde: Oh, come on, Forman. Look, man, you gotta help me out here. Jackie and I are going through a really rough time and maybe, just maybe, we can start to heal if you can find it in your heart to let me trash your girlfriend's house.
Eric: Don't care.
Kelso: But it's party time, man. I invited a girl in a halter top who was on her fifth beer. Fifth beer! Halter top!
Eric: Forget it, Kelso.
Kelso: But do you know what a Slip 'n Slide can do to a halter top? It turns it into a belt.

Eric: Um, is this red stuff gravy or blood?
Donna: There's no gravy.
Eric: Oh. Well, I guess it's just kinda moist then. Actually, it's kinda pink. Is this ham?
Donna: No, it's Chicken Pinciotti. Mine looks fine. Well, if you don't wanna eat yours we have some Fruity Pebbles.
Eric: No. No. Grown-ups don't eat Fruity Pebbles. They eat chicken.
Donna: What grown-ups? Where are these grown-ups?
Eric: Donna... us. The whole point of this weekend is to prove that we're grown up and that Red doesn't know what he's talking about when he says I'm immature.
Donna: It is? I don't know. I thought the point of this weekend was to have, you know, a fun, light weekend.
Eric: Yeah. No, it will be fun and light. It's just that in the next 36 hours, I would like to prove to myself that my father's been wrong about me my entire life. But in a fun, light way.
Donna: Well, whatever. You don't have to eat the chicken.
Eric: No! What? No. Are you kidding? I was kidding. [chuckles] I'm doing our grown up, domestic squabbling thing, you know? It's like, I make fun of your cooking, you tell me to put on pants when we have company.
Donna: Are you gonna stop wearing your pants? 'Cause I might have a problem with that.
Eric: See? Good, we're bickering like husband and wife. What, you call this dinner? [laughs] Hey, take my wife, please. [laughs] [eats] That's delicious.

Kitty: Steven, just come in. Your jacket looks fine.
Hyde: Mrs. Forman, I don't think this jacket's really my style.
Kitty: Oh, nonsense. Ever since I've know you, you've been nothing but flash and pizzazz. [giggles] Oh, and look, it says "stuntman" on the arm. People are gonna think you're from Hollywood.

Hyde: Forman, listen. I just got back from the mall with your mom.
Donna: Nice coat, Hyde. Burt Reynolds have a garage sale? [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, Hyde, Donna and I are trying to be alone. We got no use for a shiny, red stuntman.
Hyde: Look, would you shut up and listen to me-
Eric: No! Okay? This house is closed to parties, okay? So just go away. Oh, and tell the cast of Smokey and the Bandit that I said, "10-4."
Hyde: Fine. I'm gone, man.
Donna: Don't you mean, "I'm eastbound and down, good buddy"? [laughs]