Hyde: Forman, man, what's all this crap that Red gave you?
Eric: I don't know. He's obsessed with kitty litter. I think he might be going insane.

Gus: Well, hello there.
Kelso: Hey, thanks for stopping. Are you going all the way to Alpine Valley?
Gus: Oh, I'm going wherever you're going.
Kelso: Wow. That's lucky.
Gus: So tell me, did it hurt?
Kelso: What?
Gus: When you fell down from heaven.
Kelso: [chuckles] No, I'm fine.

Jackie: Hey, there's only one bedroom. It was gonna be for Michael and I, but since our love is... [whimpers] Dead. You two should take it.
Donna: All right. Want to go check out our room?
Eric: Definitely.

Fez: I am freezing. The winter in my country is 70 degrees. We must hold each other for warmth.
Jackie: Stop touching me!
Fez: But I am going to die!
Hyde: Okay, Fez... Ooh, amaretto. You know what, man? This'll warm you right up. Take a sip of that.
Fez: [drinks] Yum, liquid candy. [drinks]

Red: Kitty, you're talking about something that happened over 20 years ago.
Kitty: And there you were at the movies, in front of God and everybody slurping on horse face Lyn Taylor like she was a Popsicle.
Red: Kitty.
Kitty: A big, easy, horse-faced Popsicle.
Red: Horse face? She was a runner-up in the Miss Wisconsin pageant. Which she lost because she was such a horse face.

Kelso: Thanks for the burger. Oh, and the hat.
Gus: Well, I just like to see that smile. You seem... You seem kinda down about your friend... Eric.
Kelso: Yeah. It's just, you know, he's always been there for me. Like when people used to call me dumb, he'd say, "Hey, he's not as dumb as you think." People don't like to talk about it, but guy-to-guy relationships are pretty special, you know?
Gus: They can be the most beautiful thing in the world.
Kelso: I don't know why I do this stuff. It's just, like I get these urges, you know, and I can't control them.
Gus: Shoot, I wrote that country song. [plays Linda Ronstadt's "When Will I Be Loved" and sings along] I've been cheated Been mistreated When will I be loved

Eric: What's going on?
Hyde: [chuckles] Spy vs. Spy, man, they kill me.
Eric: No, with her. [Jackie sobs]
Hyde: She seems upset or something.
Eric: Okay, look, where's Fez?
Hyde: Fez? Oh, he killed that entire bottle of amaretto and then he ran outside, saying he had to make a snow angel. But he was in his underwear.

Hyde: Yeah, okay, I can see you're upset. Now, listen, all right? If it's any consolation Pam Macy would give it up to anybody. [Jackie wails and runs out] What do you know? We're all alone.
Donna: God, Hyde, you can be such a jerk, you know that?
Hyde: Come on, I'm just goofing around.
Donna: No, you're not. Look, I'm up here with Eric. Eric. All right? Get it? Not you.
Hyde: I know, okay? Look, do you think I like hitting on my best friend's girlfriend? I don't. But I look at you... I mean, look at you. I can't help it.
Donna: Well, you better. [Hyde kisses Donna] [Donna slaps Hyde]

Kelso: It's so clear to me now. I can't just go around using people as my sexual playthings. You know what I mean, Gus? 'Cause people's feelings are way more important than those sexual urges.
Gus: [sighs] You're good people, son.
Kelso: You, too, man.
Gus: Well, this is where you get off. And one more thing. Next time, take a bus. You're too pretty to hitch.
Kelso: Aw, thanks, man.

Jackie: [sobs] Michael! Michael! Oh, you walked all the way here in a driving snowstorm just to be with me didn't you, Michael? And you would never ever do that for Pam Macy, would you?
Kelso: No?
Jackie: Lover.
Kelso: You know it.