Kelso: Jackie, you know I wouldn't ask you if this wasn't important, okay? But this is an El Camino. That's Spanish for "The Camino."
Jackie: [sighs] By accepting this check, you are agreeing to two things. First, you will pay me back in full, and you will be my slave for a week.
Kelso: Meaning, like, your love slave?
Jackie: No. More like an errand boy.
Kelso: You mean, like your errand love boy?
Jackie: No. Just errands.
Kelso: Okay.
Jackie: Good. Here. Now, go get your car, and then come by my place. I need you to hold my toes apart while I paint them. [exits]
Fez: Well, errand boy you just sold your soul for a car.
Kelso: Who cares, Fez? Your soul is like an appendix. I don't even use it.

Leo: Okay, man, here are the keys.
Kelso: Oh, bitchin'!
Leo: You know, I was gonna give this car to my son on his 16th birthday. But then my old lady took him and split.
Kelso: Yeah, wow. Sad story. Keys, please?
Leo: I can't sell you the car, man.
Kelso: Oh, man! Ah, I guess I understand.
Leo: Thanks, man. Hyde, I want you to have this car.
Kelso: What? No! You just said that you couldn't sell the car.
Leo: Well, I'm not selling it. I'm giving it to him, man. He's family. He's the son I never had.
Kelso: You just said you had a son!
Leo: Yeah, and Hyde's the son I never had.
Hyde: Hey, Leo, man, thanks. You're the best. The car, the love, the wicked burn on Kelso. Hey, man, need a lift?

Eric: So, that's Jerry Thunder?
Donna: You know, it really turns me off when you're so insecure like this. We've been together long enough where it's either you don't get it or you don't trust me.
Eric: No, Donna, I trust you.
Donna: Well, then you don't get it. I finally have something that's really good in my life right now, and if you can't handle that, then we have a problem. So, Eric, do we have a problem?
Eric: No, we do not have a problem.
Donna: Good. 'Cause I broke my nail on a Styx album, I didn't even get to meet Alice Cooper and I am super pissed.
Eric: Yeah, well, you know you have a really cool job.
Donna: Yeah, I do, don't I? REO Speedwagon's coming in next week. I'm gonna see if they'll sign my boobs.
Eric: Now we have a problem.

Bob: Oh, swell. It's Max from the radio station. His ad rates bled me dry. Oh, I got nothin' to say to him. Hiya, Max! [chuckles]
Max: Oh, Bargain Bob! [laughs] Look, hey, I'm sorry you lost the store, man.
Bob: Sorry? I lost it by choice. Yep, I'm doing great. Got the large fries, you know.

Red: Aw, that does it. This tastes like crap!
Ricky: May I help you, sir?
Red: Yeah. I wanna compliment you on one tasty, fried piece of shoe.
Ricky: Let me take care of this right now. Earl!
Red: Oh, no. Did you say Earl?
Ricky: Just one second.
Earl: Ricky, I'm glad you called me. I need to leave early for a- Oh. Hi, Red.
Ricky: You two know each other?
Earl: I used to work for Red. Then he fired me.
Ricky: Oh. Then he and I have something in common. You're fired!
Earl: What did I do?
Red: Hey, Bob. Job just opened up for you.

[As the guys play "air band" while listening to rock music]
Jackie: Fez? What instrument's that?
Fez: Instrument?

Donna: Eric, I got a job! I'm sorting records at Jerry Thunder's radio show!
Eric: No way! WFPP? That's Jerry Thunder! [imitates announcer] The Sound!
Donna: And he knows rock stars. And he gets free concert tickets. And he gave me this guitar pick from Foghat.
Kelso: No way!
Donna: Eric, there's a whole pile of bumper stickers, and they're free!
Kelso: No way!
Donna: Okay, well, I gotta go. I gotta go alphabetize the eight-tracks.
Kelso: No way!

Max: And this is where we do the interviews. A lot of rock legends have puked in this room. Good times.
Donna: Wow. So, if I stay here long enough, I might see a rock star throw up?
Max: See it? You'll probably clean it up.
Donna: All right.

Jerry Thunder: Oh, yeah, this is Jerry Thunder. [thunderclap] Coming to you on The Sound! And it looks like we got a new office girl. What's your name, baby?
Donna: Um, Donna.
Jerry Thunder: Mmm. Well, Donna, you are hot. So I'm gonna call you Hot Donna.
Donna: Okay.
Jerry Thunder: You got yourself a boyfriend, Hot Donna? [Max shakes his head at Donna]
Donna: Um... no.
Jerry Thunder: Mmm. That is good news, fellas. 'Cause Hot Donna is hot.
Donna: Max, why'd you make me say that? 'Cause I have a boyfriend.
Max: Fine. You have a boyfriend. So does Elton John.
Donna: No way!
Max: Yeah! They're a fantastic couple. I love 'em. The point is, we're selling an image here and an available Hot Donna is good for ratings.
Donna: Oh. Well, what the hell. Eric won't have a problem with this.

Kitty: Earl. What brings you here?
Earl: Uh, I took the bus. First off, Kitty, I'd like to say you have a lovely home. Second of all, screw you, Red.
Red: What?
Earl: Well, I'm out of work, and it's all your fault. How am I supposed to pay my bills or feed my dog or go to Hawaii?
Red: Look, Earl you can't blame me for getting fired. I didn't make you too dumb to flip burgers. That's God's fault.
Earl: Yeah, well, you know the Christmas card you get of me and my dog every year? You're off the list. Yeah. That's right. Don't bother checking the mailbox, Red, 'cause it ain't comin'. [exits]
Kitty: I loved his Christmas cards. They were handmade.