Fez Quote #184
Quote from Fez in Roller Disco
Fez: Oh, don't put Batman in the clam of death, Riddler. That's just gonna make him mad. God, you're stupid.
Eric: Fez, for the last time, the Riddler can't hear you.
Fez: Riddle me this, Riddler. When Batman escapes from the clam of death who will kick your riddle-telling ass in?
Eric: Hey, Fez. Riddle me this. [slaps Fez]
Fez: Then riddle me this. [gives Eric a "wet willy"]
Eric: Oh, but, Fez, only if you riddle me this. [gives Fez a "purple nurple"]
Fez: Ow! Riddle me this, you son of a bitch! [they fight]
Features in the collection: Fez: You Son of a Bitch.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Fez: You Son of a Bitch’
Fez: So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and say, "Trick or treat," they'll give me a free piece of candy?
All: Yes!
Fez: Oh, I don't believe you.
[cut to:]
Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy, you son of a bitch?
Quote from Fez in Dine and Dash
Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Kelso: Hey!
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.
‘Roller Disco’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: I don't get Jackie, man. I mean, picking Fez over me? Me? I have the three things that women want: I'm- I'm hot, and I'm smart.
Donna: That's two things, moron.
Kelso: No, it's three. I count hot twice. I mean, come on.
Quote from Eric
Mediator: Eric, just a few more questions. Is your father ever unnecessarily angry?
[Red looks at Eric and gestures for him to smile]
Eric: Unnecessarily angry? Well- [clears throat] You know, what does "unnecessarily" mean really? I mean, my sister likes to put salt on roast beef, but I think it's unnecessary. I mean, why cover up the flavor of such a delicious meat?
Red: Just answer the question, dumbass! I mean... [laughs] Good work, Son.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Hi, sweetie. How was work?
Eric: Oh, pretty good except for the fact that Dad's getting sued for firing a Price Mart employee.
Kitty: Okay. Well, good. Have a cupcake.
Eric: Mom, did you hear what I said?
Kitty: Uh-huh, and it's just so very unpleasant, I'm ignoring it. So, have a cupcake.
Eric: Earl is suing Dad for wrongful termination.
Kitty: Earl? He didn't do his job. He was always late. He was a complete dumbass... person.
Eric: Mom, you said "ass."
Kitty: Well, now so did you. Give me back the cupcake, foul mouth.