Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Kelso: Hey!
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.

Fez: Well, thanks a lot for getting me at the police station, you two sons of two bitches!
Hyde: Fez, what happened?
Fez: Well, I got arrested. And they did a background check and found out that my student visa expires when I graduate from high school.
Hyde: What?
Fez: Yeah, and now I have to leave the country after graduation. That's in a week. And I have to relearn my native language. Good day.
Kelso: No, but Fez-
Fez: [speaks foreign language]

Kelso: "A UNICEF contribution of 13 cents will feed a child for a month." Man, living in Africa must be great. Everything's so cheap.
Hyde: If you ask me, man, UNICEF's a scam.
Donna: If we ask you, everything's a scam.
Hyde: Everything is a scam.

Jackie: Hey, you guys, you know what? My church is doing a haunted house.
Donna: I really don't think anyone's gonna be scared by a bunch of Episcopalians.
Kelso: Unless they have chainsaws. Let's go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Jackie: Michael, I told you, I don't like Texans.

Hyde: You know, that's when everybody turned against me. They pegged me as a bad kid. And once that happens, you're labeled forever. You ruined my life, Forman.
Jackie: No, he didn't. Hyde, no offense, but with an alcoholic mom and an absent dad, you were bound to end up in jail sooner or later. Hyde, I said, "No offense."