Fez Quote #212
Quote from Fez in Dine and Dash
Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Kelso: Hey!
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.
Features in the collection: Fez: You Son of a Bitch.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Fez: You Son of a Bitch’
Fez: So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and say, "Trick or treat," they'll give me a free piece of candy?
All: Yes!
Fez: Oh, I don't believe you.
[cut to:]
Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy, you son of a bitch?
Quote from Fez in Immigrant Song
Fez: Well, thanks a lot for getting me at the police station, you two sons of two bitches!
Hyde: Fez, what happened?
Fez: Well, I got arrested. And they did a background check and found out that my student visa expires when I graduate from high school.
Hyde: What?
Fez: Yeah, and now I have to leave the country after graduation. That's in a week. And I have to relearn my native language. Good day.
Kelso: No, but Fez-
Fez: [speaks foreign language]
‘Dine and Dash’ Quotes
Quote from Hyde
[circle:]
Hyde: Best thing about this joke, it just keeps going and going. [laughs] And not only did we break the law, we screwed our friends while breaking the law.
Kelso: How dumb was he to give me the car keys? I mean, who here trusts me?
Hyde: [o.s.] No way.
Jackie: [o.s.] Not me.
Kelso: Thank you.
Jackie: You know what? Stolen food just tastes better. Dinner roll?
Fez: Guys, I feel bad about Eric and Donna. Maybe we should figure out a way to help them.
Hyde: Sure, we could do that. Or... [chuckles] we could ask ourselves, "How can we make this worse?"
[elsewhere:]
Waiters: [sing] Happy anniversary Happy anniversary Happyy anniversary Donna and Eric.
Waiter: With best wishes from Hyde, Kelso, Fez and Jackie.
Quote from Midge
Red: So, who else needs a drink real bad?
Bob: Tough day at the salt mines, Red?
Midge: Oh. When did you get a job at the salt mines?
Kitty: Here, honey. Play with these.
Quote from Kelso
Donna: Hey, Kelso, thanks for dinner. It was great.
Eric: Yeah, it was delicious.
Kelso: Hey, guys, no need to thank me. I'm happy to do it. [opens bill] Okay. Everybody ready?
Eric: Uh, don't you have to pay first?
Kelso: I'm not paying.
Donna: What? What, did you think I was paying?
Eric: Yes. Kelso, we don't have any money.
Kelso: You don't need any. People, we are on a "dine and dash" here. Oh, yeah. 'Cause the only thing better than eating lobster is eating lobster and hauling ass. Let's haul ass.