Red: Kitty? You remember that little, uh, French restaurant downtown?
Kitty: Frenchie's?
Red: The one and only. I made reservations for tonight. Forman, party of two.
Kitty: Well, now, this is so spontaneous of you, Red. You haven't been reading my Cosmo, have you?
Red: Come on, Kitty, we'll get all dressed up. You can even wear my mother's necklace.
Kitty: Oh... The necklace, yay.

Kitty: Oh, this is awful.
Laurie: Come on, Mom. French food's not that bad. Just order pommes frites. They're French fries, you know?
Kitty: No, honey, the necklace. I don't have it anymore.
Laurie: Really? What'd you do with it?
Kitty: Nothing. I said nothing.
Laurie: Mom, did you gamble the necklace away?
Kitty: Okay, stop it, Laurie. I'll make you get a job.
Laurie: Bye.

Fez: [inner monologue] Okay, Fez. Asking Jackie out is a big opportunity for you. And if she says no, don't cry. Just be witty and polite. Stick to the script. And most importantly, speak slowly and enunciate. [dials phone]
Jackie: [answers phone] Hello.
Fez: "Hello, Jackie, how are you doing today? I am fine. Nice weather lately, huh? Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?"
Jackie: Okay. Wait, who is this?
Fez: It's me, Fez.
Jackie: Oh. Okay.
Fez: I just thought that since you and Kelso are no longer dating...
Jackie: How is Michael doing?
Fez: Uh, fine, I guess. Actually, he seems dumber.
Jackie: Well, you know what, that's great. 'Cause I'm doing fine, too. Just fine.
Fez: Well, if you are fine, then I'm dandy. You... You and me, fine and dandy. Did you hang up?
Jackie: No.
Fez: Pick you up at 8:00?
Jackie: Fine.
Fez: Dandy.

Kitty: Okay. I'm all ready, so let's go.
Red: Wow, you look great.
Kitty: [chuckles] And you look sharp yourself, so let's go.
Red: Hey, weren't you going to wear my mother's necklace?
Kitty: Here it is. Doesn't it look nice? I tuck it in so I won't lose it. So, let's hit the road.
Red: Well, you know, that didn't really look like the one that she gave you.
Kitty: Well, sure it does. It looks just like it because it is it. [laughs] Now look who's getting old. Doesn't even remember what necklace his mother gave me. So, let's move it out.

Hyde: Oh, Laurie. Are you all out of put-downs?
Laurie: Yeah, I guess I'm having an off day. Even Eric burned me.
Hyde: Eric burned you? You are totally lame.
Laurie: I know, isn't that pathetic? Eric.
Eric: What about me?
Laurie: Speaking of the spindly-armed devil.
Eric: What's so pathetic?
Laurie: Nothing. At least nothing we can share with you, gomer.
Eric: Oh, yeah, well... Nice hair. [Laurie and Hyde laugh] What?

Fez: So, Jackie, how's your very expensive dinner?
Jackie: Mmm. It's great. And I'm not replacing Michael with food. Are you going to finish that?
Fez: Oh, that's okay. You know this restaurant is very well known for their very expensive dinners, but for you it's...
Jackie: Pass the butter.
Fez: Ah, the butter. That reminds me of an amusing anecdote. Um... [reads card] Well, the other day, I was in the basement...
Jackie: [mouthfull] Was Michael there?
Kelso: Yes, anyways...
Jackie: He is such a jerk.
Kelso: Yes, anyways, back to my amusing anecdote. Well, the other day, I was tying my shoe...
Jackie: [to the waiter] Mmm, ask first! Fez, I am so glad I came out with you tonight.
Fez: Really?
Jackie: Mmm. [smiles with spinach in her teeth] I was starving.

Kelso: So, what happened? Did you kiss her? 'Cause I'll kill you if you kissed her.
Fez: Oh, no, I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted to give her a napkin. There was not a moment when she did not have a face full of food. I was disgusted.
Kelso: Really? Hey, all is forgiven, buddy.

Eric: Hey, how was dinner?
Kitty: Fine. Except your father wouldn't shut up about that stupid necklace.
Red: Look, Kitty, obviously something's going on here. So why don't you just tell me what it is? Did you lose it?
Kitty: No.
Red: Did you lend it to somebody?
Kitty: No.
Red: Then what the hell happened?
Kitty: I hocked it, okay? I hocked it, I pawned it, I hocked it.
Red: You pawned my dead mother's necklace?
Kitty: Yes. And I'm not sorry 'cause we got groceries for it. So, I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry, and I don't feel bad. [Red exits] Oh, Eric, I feel so bad.

Eric: Mom, you feel bad? Laurie told everyone about Dr. Pee-pee.
Kitty: Oh, honey, that's not so bad. That's cute. Oh, please, I have told that story to so many...
Eric: Mom!
Kitty: I didn't tell that story to anybody.

Jackie: So, then, after I finished putting all my pictures of Michael in my special Michael box, I realized that I'm so totally over him.
Donna: You liar. Look at yourself. And if you keep stuffing your face like this, you're gonna get...
Jackie: Don't you dare say it, you bitch.
Donna: Fat.
Jackie: No. [whimpers] No.
[fantasy:]
Jackie: Yep, I've almost finished my fifth pie, and I'm still completely over Michael.
Donna: Don't. Stop. Wait.
Jackie: Mmm. Blueberry. Hmm. I'm feeling kind of weird. Oh, no, what's happening to me? Oh, my God. Oh, goodness. Oh, gracious, oh, my! [whimpers]
Donna: No more pie for you. Okay, let's go, Jackie. Suck it in, Jackie.
[present:]
Jackie: Oh, my God, Donna, I'm scared. I have to control myself.
Donna: Okay, well, then let's start by you handing Donna the jerky.
Jackie: Back off, you Amazon. Look, I just need more time.
Donna: Okay, you slapping my hand when I tried to take your jerky is something a fat girl would do.