Eric: Well, I'm going out.
Kitty: Good. I want you to run to the store for me. Get a large can of frosting and 15 small bags of M&M's. Plain, not peanuts. [off Eric's look] They're for your sister. [Eric exits] [Kitty laughs] That was close.

Jackie: Okay, what happened?
Donna: Jackie, I'm not gonna talk to you about this.
Jackie: Then who are you gonna talk to? [meanwhile, the guys all make armpit farts]
Donna: Okay, we get home from the Rundgren Concert and I'm sitting on the hood of the car, and I kissed him.
Jackie: French or American?
Donna: I can't believe I'm talking to you about this.

Donna: Look, I've lived next door to Eric my entire life and we talk about everything together. We love the same music, we love the Packers. Then I kissed him, and everything changed. Now I don't know if he's my boyfriend or if he's my best friend. And if he's my boyfriend, I'd lose my best friend. And if I screw it up, I lose my best friend and my boy friend. And now I have to get him this gift and I don't know...
Jackie: Donna! Donna! I've solved it. Get him a scented candle.
Donna: A scented candle?
Jackie: It's practical and romantic. Oh, yeah.

Fez: Who is the goddess?
Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister.
Hyde: She's not a goddess. She's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.

Eric: Shouldn't you put some clothes on?
Laurie: Why?
Eric: Aren't you a little cold?
Laurie: No, in fact, I'm hot.
Eric: Oh, then why don't you go upstairs?
Laurie: I am waiting for my jeans to come out of the dryer. And I want you to stay off my case. It'll only take me a minute.
Eric: I don't think Kelso's gonna last that long.
Laurie: Too bad. It's not like I'm completely naked under this. I'm wearing underwear. See? [guys groan] If we were at the beach, you wouldn't even notice me.
Hyde: If we were at the beach, Kelso would be in the water right now.

Kelso: [whooping] [exclaiming] [chuckles] Your sister wants me. I mean, you saw her coming on to me, right?
Hyde: [to Fez] Let him go.
Kelso: Remember? I said, "Hello, Laurie." And Laurie said...
[fantasy:]
Laurie: Hello, Kelso. [jump cut] I'm waiting and I want you [jump cut] baby. [jump cut] Take me [jump cut] now. I need it [jump cut] bad. I need it [jump cut] all night. And Mama loves her baby. [jump cut] I'm completely naked under this. [jump cut] And I'm hot for [jump cut] you [jump cut] Kelso. [reality:]
Kelso: What? You didn't see it?

Eric: Laurie?
Red: Quit staring at your sister and eat your carrots.
Laurie: Oh, yeah, Eric wanted me to tell you that he thinks he's too old for a party. Keys.
Kitty: There's no party. Laurie, loose lips.
Eric: Laurie, I just remembered. I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you.

Eric: Look, I know what you're all doing here.
Kelso: What are you talking about, Eric? We're just hanging out. Like always. Except we're dressed nice. But that doesn't mean anything.
Kitty: [enters] Hi, kids. Um, I need your help with something. Jackie, Donna, Michael, Steven... young man with an accent, could you give me a hand? Not you, Eric. [all except Eric follow Kitty upstairs]
Eric: God, I can't take it. [opens the back door]
Red: No.
Eric: But I-
Red: No.
Eric: No, I-
Red: No.
Kitty: Eric? Eric, honey. Honey, could you come up here for a second? Shut up. He's coming.

Eric: Hey, it's a hot-shave dispenser.
Kitty: Oh, he won't need that for a long time. A long, long time.
Midge: Of course he will. He's almost like a man. [Midge laughs] [Kitty whimpers]

Bob: Three fours, I need them.
Midge: Bob is very good at Yahtzee.