Kitty: [gasps] The liquor cabinet.
Red: It's locked.
Kitty: What if there's an emergency?
Red: They'll call.
Kitty: What if they run out of chips?
Red: They'll starve.

Midge: Oh, Kitty, when Valerie went off to school, I felt the same way but this little book of poems helped me. It's called, "Verses from an empty nest."
Bob: Read her that one about the little bird that lost its way.
Midge: Oh, yeah. "The little bird that once did sing Is now alone with broken wing"
Bob: Oh, God.

Fez: So, what did you get from Donna?
Eric: Nothing, yet.
Kelso: Oh... Maybe it's the big gift. You know, the really big gift. You guys know what I'm saying when I say, "the big gift," right?
Hyde: Yeah, we got it. And we got it.
Fez: I'm not even from here and I got it.
Jackie: [enters] Oh, Eric. Donna's on the porch.
Kelso: He's getting the big gift!

Kitty: Aw! Look at this. Oh, we never thought to put a candle out here. Oh, it is just so romantic.
Red: Let's keep moving. There's nothing to see out here. [both exit]
Eric: Thanks- Thanks, Dad.
Kitty: [o.s.] We have candles in the bedroom, don't we? [Kitty and Red laugh]

Jackie: This is it. He's going for it.
Kelso: Oh, no. It's his birthday, she should kiss him first.
Jackie: She did last time.
All: What?
Jackie: Nothing. Shut up and watch.
Hyde: Come on, Forman, go for it.
Eric: The door's open, we can hear you. We can see you. [all duck]
Fez: [o.s.] Is he kissing her?
Hyde: [o.s.] None of us can see them, Fez.
Fez: [o.s.] Eric, are you kissing her?

Jackie: So?
Donna: What?
Jackie: What are you going to get Eric for his birthday?
Donna: I don't know. Nothing seems right. I want to give him something special.
Jackie: He kissed you! [Donna shushes Jackie] Get in the car. Donna, get in the car so we can talk.

Laurie: So, I understand you have the wagon now. I want to borrow it tomorrow night. I need it.
Eric: Okay. But I need a favor.
Laurie: For you? I don't think so.
Eric: Come on. Look, just tell Mom I'm too old for surprise parties.
Laurie: But you're the baby, and Mama loves her baby.
Eric: If you do it, you can borrow the Vista Cruiser.
Laurie: All night.
Eric: All night? Fine.
Laurie: Then, it's a deal, baby.

Eric: Wow! I mean, yeah.
Kitty: It's an eight-track tape player.
Eric: I see that.
Red: Just what you asked for.
Kitty: You made such a big deal about it, I wrote it down.
[later:]
Eric: Cassettes. Great. Thanks, Hyde.
Hyde: You're welcome.
Kitty: Oh, let's put them in the eight-track and play them.

Donna: I got you something.
Jackie: No. Donna, help me find my purse. Now. [both go into the kitchen]
Donna: Jackie, you didn't even bring a purse.
Jackie: Duh. You can't give him your present in front of his guy friends.
Donna: I am one of his guy friends.
Jackie: Look, Donna, I have put a lot of thought into this gift. Please do not wreck this for me.
Donna: I'm sorry. I guess I was being selfish.
Jackie: It's okay. [comforts Donna]

Red: Okay, it's time we disappeared.
Kitty: What? Honey, the party just started.
Red: I know. That's why we're going over to Bob's.
Kitty: Well, I wanted to give Eric a party.
Red: And you did. You make a mess, you're all grounded. [chuckles]
Bob: [laughs] You darn kids.
Kitty: You know, what if they run out of ketchup or something.
Red: Let's go.
Kitty: Okay. We have more buns and sweet pickles if you don't like the dill.