Eric: Kelso, what the hell are you thinking? You said you'd take care of it.
Kelso: And I took care of it by planning the [whispers] "dine and dash."
Donna: Kelso, we're not doing it.
Leo: Why not? Guys, we're making memories here.
Donna: Kelso, it's wrong.
Kelso: Wrong? Or hilarious?
Eric: Wrong, you dill-hole. [slaps Kelso]
Hyde: Or hilariously wrong. I like it. But then again, I'm from the underbelly of society, so...

Kitty: Oh, good, honey, you're home. Listen. The Pinciottis called. They wanted to have card night tonight, so-
Red: No, Kitty, you just call them back, 'cause there's no way in hell that I'm gonna have card night with the Pinciottis... 'cause it's just too much fun. Hello, Bob and Midge.
Kitty: [nervous laugh]

Bob: Yeah workin' Joe. I'll tell you, since my business went bankrupt, I got a lot of free time. I mainly use it to nap and cry.
Kitty: Well, uh, Bob don't cry on the cards. It makes 'em hard to shuffle. [laughs]

Midge: So it was either a U.F.O. or I rubbed my eyes too hard.
Kitty: [laughs] Okay. Good story, Midge.

Kitty: So, Red, how's work? Well, yesterday I hired some new guy down in sporting goods, but I don't know-
Bob: Whoa. You hired a new guy? [chuckles] Oh, that's funny. I remember when I was doing the hiring at my store, and you were out of work. I hired you... neighbor.
Red: Listen, Bob.
Bob: No. Midgie? We're going home.
Midge: But I have gin.
Bob: We're playing bridge!

Hyde: I can't do it. I've gone soft, man. I'm like Forman. It sickens me.
Eric: Mm. So you can't do it. I wonder why. Why, oh, why?
Donna: Oh! I know why.
Eric: Yes, Donna?
Donna: Because it's wrong.
Eric: That's right, Miss Pinciotti. It's wrong.
Kelso: Gee, what a surprise. Mom and Dad don't want to do it.
Donna: We are not Mom and Dad. And we're not leaving without paying, young man.
Kelso: Fine. Fine. I'll pay for the stupid dinner. Now just give me your stupid keys so I can get my money out of your stupid car. Stupid.

Donna: Um, Eric? Did Kelso leave his money at home? 'Cause he just drove away in the Vista Cruiser.
Eric: What? No. No, uh, he wouldn't ditch us.
Donna: Are you sure? 'Cause as he drove past he was doing this...
Eric: No. Donna, he's kidding. He wouldn't ditch us.
[later:]
Eric: He ditched us!
Fez: I'm sure he's right outside. I'll go get him.
Donna: Fez, I don't know.
Fez: Don't worry. I'll go and get the money and come back. You can trust me.

Kitty: Oh, come on, Red. How bad would it be working with Bob? It's a big store. You'd hardly ever see him. Maybe you could- You could hide from him.
Red: He'd find me. He always finds me.
Kitty: Well, you better think of something because they are gonna live next door to us for a long, long time.
Red: You don't know that. He's out of work. He'll probably lose the house. [chuckles] Oh, fine. I'll talk to Bob. But you gotta work on your sense of humor, lady.

Eric: Man, I can't believe those guys screwed us like this.
Donna: Well, at least we still have each other.
Eric: You know what? You're right, Donna. I can't count on much in this crazy world, but I can always count on you.
Donna: That is so true. I have to go to the bathroom.
Eric: Okay. Hey! Why don't you just sit your lyin' ass down?
Donna: Eric, don't you trust me?
Eric: [chuckles] Not as far as I can throw you, and that ain't far.

Donna: How can you say that? Okay, so I noticed the fire exit was next to the bathroom. Doesn't mean I'd use it. I happened to notice it, that's all. It's very convenient. [both sit down]
Eric: Donna, don't you see what's happening? They've turned us against each other.
Donna: You're right. I was gonna use the fire exit. I was!
Eric: You know why they do this? Because they know we won't get them back. We're responsible, mature "Mom and Dad." We just- We won't stoop to their level.
Donna: Well, damn it, let's stoop to their level or an even lower level.
Eric: Yeah. Oh, I'm with you, baby, yeah. There's just one problem. We can't do it from in here. [both stand up] If I don't make it, tell Mama I'm sorry.
Donna: Don't talk like that. You'll tell her yourself.