Donna: He's not coming back!
Fez: And we trusted him.
Jackie: Foreigners lie. You know what? I'm just gonna call my dad, and he'll come pay for our dinner.
Eric: Okay, but, Jackie, if you don't come back-
Jackie: Eric, please. I'm not immature like those idiots.
[later:]
Eric: She is immature like those idiots!

Kitty: Oh, this is just terrible.
Red: Oh, Kitty. Quincy's no Columbo, but he's still pretty good.
Kitty: Red, Bob was very upset when he left here.
Red: Bob's always upset. He's a little girl in big boy pants.
Kitty: Well, why didn't you offer him a job?
Red: I didn't want to insult him by offering him some nothing job.
Kitty: Oh, Red, you insult him every day.
Red: But that's different. He thinks I'm kidding. Kitty, this is about a man's dignity. Oh, sure, it was- It was awful, what happened. But let's just put it behind us and watch Quincy.

Eric: Okay, you guys. Okay. Good one last night. You know, ditching us at the restaurant and everything.
Kelso: Yeah, we got you so bad.
Donna: You really did. We laughed and laughed. To show you guys we're such good sports, we made you guys a batch of special brownies.
Hyde: Special brownies. Like the special kind of special?
Donna: The best kind of special.

Bob: Hey, Red. I've been thinking about your offer and I want you to know, I made a decision.
Red: Oh, goody.
Bob: But I need you to ask me again.
Red: [clears throat] Bob, would you, uh like a job at Price Mart?
Bob: Say it like you mean it.
Red: Go to hell, Bob!

Fez: So, did you enjoy your pilsner? Did you get the message about the stallion?
Caroline: Okay, look, okay? You can't send beer to the hostess podium, okay? I almost got fired. So just pretend you don't know me, okay?
Fez: I don't think I do know you, Caroline. [returns to table] Caroline has upset me. I can't wait to dine and dash on her ass. Her beautiful ass.

Hyde: I can't believe I got stuck here with the squares.
Donna: We're not squares!
Eric: Donna, settle down. You don't want to upset your stomach.
Hyde: This is bad, man. If I'm not fighting against the system, I am the system. Screw it. I'm going. [deep breaths] Banzai! [runs out]

Red: Listen, I want to offer you a job at PriceMart.
Bob: Geez, Red, Price Mart?
Red: What?
Bob: Yeah, that may be fine for you, but you're talking to a guy who owned his own business.
Red: And ran it into the ground. Okay, I'm, uh- [chuckles] I'm sorry. Just take the job, Bob.
Bob: No.
Red: Okay. That's fine, Bob. There is no job. Forget it.
Bob: Oh, so now you're not offering me a job.
Red: I just offered you the job, and you said you didn't want the job.
Bob: Well, ask me again.
Red: Oh, cripes. [clears throat] You want a job at Price Mart, Bob?
Bob: I'll think about it.
Red: Go to hell, Bob!

Kelso: Hey, guys, guess what I got.
Hyde: V.D.?
Kelso: No. [chuckles] A hundred bucks.
Eric: So money to treat your V.D.?
Kelso: No.

Kelso: My grandmother gave me this money. See, my mom told her that she needed to bleach her whiskers and I was like, I go, "What whiskers?" Which is a total lie, 'cause she's got these honkin' whiskers. But then it made her so happy she gave me a hundred bucks.
Jackie: Uh, no offense, Michael, but your mom's not one to talk. I mean, whoo!
Kelso: Hey, my mother is a beautiful woman. Apologize.
Hyde: Sorry.
Donna: She's nice.
Eric: Sorry.
Jackie: Whisker face.
Kelso: All right, thank you. Now we gotta go celebrate this hundred bucks. Let's all go out to dinner. Someplace expensive. Someplace nice.

Fez: There she is. Isn't she lovely? She reminds me of that song "Isn't She Lovely?" Here she comes. Here she comes. Watch me impress her.
Caroline: Hi, Fez.
Fez: [voice breaking] Hello, Caroline.
Caroline: I just came over to say hi.
Fez: Hi.
Caroline: Hi!
Fez: Bye.
Caroline: Bye.
Fez: [calmly] Did you see how I played her?