Kelso: Hey, you need to watch out, okay? Girls are talking to you. I think there might be a practical joke in the works.
Eric: No, man, I don't think so. I think it's 'cause I graduated. Hyde, am I cool now?
Hyde: Well, you're cool like margarine is butter. Close, but there's a little aftertaste.

Donna: [on radio] You're in the middle of a Christmas Eve rock block on WFPP with me, Hot Donna. [sizzling] That was bacon. I recorded that myself earlier today. Stay tuned for more Christmas classics with me, Hot Donna. [sizzling] I'm sorry, but that is just too cool.

Eric: Yep, life after graduation sure is sweet. Some days I wake up and I'm like, "Hey, I'm having ice-cream for breakfast." And you know what? I do.

Donna: [on radio] Okay, we're back, and if my boyfriend's listening, you're late and I'm a little worried you're trapped in a snowdrift or something. So, honey, if you're cold, I'm with you, baby. Okay, so let's take some requests. Hello, you're on the air.
Rachel: [on line] Hi, I'd like to dedicate He's the Greatest Dancer by Sister Sledge to Eric Forman, the coolest guy at the Christmas dance.
Donna: What? He's still at the dance?
Rachel: [on line] Sorry, I have to go. He's telling us about his boat.
Donna: That sneaky bastard. Uh... that sneaky bastard, Santa Claus, is on his way with a non-stop block of classic Christmas tunes. And remember, you're listening to WFPP, with me, Hot Donna. [sizzling] You hear that, Eric Forman? That's not bacon, that's your ass when I get a hold of you.

Kelso: Man, I can't stop thinking about Brooke. I mean, both you and me know that every girl in here wants me, except for the couple of weirdoes that seem to want you, but I don't care about any of them.
Eric: Look, Kelso, are you sure you don't just have a crush on Brooke because she's a librarian, and you've seen some librarian layout in Playboy?
Kelso: Eric, I'm sure that's part of it. Whatever. I'm going to the library. Whoa, that felt weird to say.

Jackie: Steven, you don't look like you're having a good time.
Hyde: I'm not.
Jackie: I know, but I need you to act like you are. Just think about stuff you enjoy, like shoplifting or dirty jeans.

Julie: Jackie, how come you never told me you were dating an older man?
Jackie: Well, I guess I was just distracted by the life I lead outside of cheerleading, where I do fun and glamorous things, with my older, mysterious boyfriend.
Hyde: That's true. Why, just last week, we sat on the couch and had a fight.
Julie: I'm jealous.

Fez: Uh, this dance sucks. None of the girls remember me. They all think I'm a waiter.
Hyde: Hey, I got an idea how you can get these girls' attention.
Fez: Oh, boy, does it involve me hiding in the girls' bathroom?
Hyde: No.
Fez: Okay, we'll try your way.

Kelso: Nice decorations. I see you're using one of the better-tasting glues.
Brooke: What are you doing here?
Kelso: Oh, I just thought, instead of having a fun Christmas Eve somewhere else, I'd rather have a boring one here with you. But we could have some fun.
Brooke: Michael, I've told you before, just because you come to the library after hours, does not mean I'm gonna walk around topless.
Kelso: But it's Christmas. Oh, here let me help you with the decorations. Pregnant women should not be standing on their tiptoes, 'cause the baby will come out all cross-eyed.
Brooke: Listen, if you think you're gonna get me interested in you by being cute and making me laugh... Well, it's probably gonna work. But if you screw this up, I am gonna ruin your credit with thousands of dollars in library fines.
Kelso: Fair enough. Well, what say we seal this newfound friendship with a round of topless ornament hanging? Okay, fine. Whatever you wanna do. Topless.

Julie: Jackie, in light of you showing up tonight with your boyfriend, who, by the way, is totally cool and a fox...
Hyde: Big newsflash there.
Julie: ...I'd like to invite you to rejoin the cheer squad.
Jackie: Really?
Julie: Yeah. [both cheer]
Jackie: Huh. You know, I don't think I wanna be a cheerleader anymore.
Julie: But we hugged and jumped.
Jackie: Well, I'm gonna have to take back that hug and jump with a pout and a shrug.