Kelso: [plays guitar and sings] Something touched me deep inside The day that Hyde died So bye-bye, Mr Steven Hyde I'm a hottie and you're nottie Jackie's gonna be mine She likes my brunette Likes not your curly ass twine Oh, Jackie Burkhart, you are so fine [talks] I wrote that just for you, Jackie.
Hyde: He didn't write that. He ripped it off from "American Pie."
Kelso: Nah-uh. The "American Pie" guy ripped me off.

Fez: Ah, my last American Popsicle washed down by my last American grape soda.
Hyde: Fez, it's sad you're getting deported, but this "last American" crap's getting annoying.
Fez: Ah, my last American chance to annoy you.
Eric: Hey. Come on, Fez. Look on the bright side. I mean, we graduate tomorrow. You go to your country with a high school diploma they'll probably make you, like, head medicine man or something.
Fez: Eric, there is no bright side about going back to a place where people are outnumbered by lizards.
Kelso: I'm gonna miss you, man. When you get there, can you mail me a lizard?

Jackie: Hey, guys, I made a decision.
Kelso: So who's it gonna be? "Tall and hot" or "short and kosher"?
Hyde: Would you shut the hell up and let her talk?
Jackie: Okay, look. I had to ask myself a really hard question. Who do I love most? And the answer was so obvious. It was staring me in the face the whole time. The person I love most is me. I love me most.
Hyde: You choose you?
Jackie: Look, if I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would.
Kelso: Wait, what... So where does that leave us?
Jackie: I'll figure that out after I spend the summer by the pool. I feel this would be a lot clearer when I'm much tanner.

Hyde: Hey, Forman, I got you a plant for your new apartment, but, um, I can't give it to you in front of your parents.

Fez: Hey, stop it. Would you please put aside your differences and go camping with me? We only have a few hours left together.
Hyde: Fine. I'll go for you.
Fez: Good. Now, I am off to spend the rest of my American money on candy and porno.
Donna: But, Fez-
Fez: I said candy and porno.

Donna: Eric, guess what came for you?
Eric: Hey. They just send those to me. I don't even find those girls attractive. [chuckles]
Donna: No, you perv. It's the key to our new apartment in Madison.
Eric: Oh.
Donna: Now we can leave tomorrow after graduation like we wanted.
Eric: Great. By this time next week, our new neighbors will be hearing your cries of love through our paper-thin walls.
Hyde: Cries of love? Or cries of disappointment?

Fez: Oh, I don't want to go.
Eric: Come on, Fez. It's not like we're never gonna see you again. I'm sure in a couple months you'll be, like on the cover of National Geographic.
Fez: Yeah, those bastards are always so intrusive.

Kelso: Hey, Jackie? You're gonna love these cookies on the camping trip. They're sweet and tasty, just like me.
Hyde: Kelso, this apple's kind of like you too.
Kelso: You mean juicy and delicious? [eats]
Hyde: No. Red and bruised. [hits Kelso]
Kelso: Agh! Yeah? Well, these hot dogs are like you, too, Hyde. They're, uh...
Eric: Kosher.
Kelso: Yeah, kosher! Wait, what's kosher?
Eric: That means blessed by a rabbi.
Kelso: Burn!

Donna: Jackie, are you sure you want to go camping? These idiots are gonna be competing over you the whole time.
Jackie: Well, I am glad, Donna. They've both jerked me around so much, I cannot wait to watch 'em fight over me.
Fez: You know, if you really want to mess with them, you should do it with me. Hey, talk about humiliating. [chuckles]

Laurie: So, you guys are going to the lake, huh? It is real fun up there. My senior year, I set the record for most topless rides on the rope swing. I wish I was going.
Eric: Yeah, don't even think about it, Laurie. There are enough scary things in the woods already.
Fez: Eric, I'm being deported, and she's loose with the boobs. She goes.