Kelso Quote #537
Quote from Kelso in Celebration Day
Kelso: Hey, Jackie? You're gonna love these cookies on the camping trip. They're sweet and tasty, just like me.
Hyde: Kelso, this apple's kind of like you too.
Kelso: You mean juicy and delicious? [eats]
Hyde: No. Red and bruised. [hits Kelso]
Kelso: Agh! Yeah? Well, these hot dogs are like you, too, Hyde. They're, uh...
Eric: Kosher.
Kelso: Yeah, kosher! Wait, what's kosher?
Eric: That means blessed by a rabbi.
Kelso: Burn!
Features in the collection: Kelso: Burn!.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Kelso: Burn!’
Quote from Red in The Battle of Evermore
Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.
Quote from Kelso in What is and What Should Never Be
Fez: Ah, we've been here for, like, an hour. We've only moved, like, two feet.
Kelso: You think the lines at the D.M.V. are long? You should see the free clinic. Now, there's a wait.
Hyde: Man, you've been to the free clinic?
Kelso: No. Oh, but I did see your mom there. Burn! [Hyde punches Kelso's arm] [chuckles] That's gonna leave a mark. Just like your mom did! [laughs]
‘Celebration Day’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: [plays guitar and sings] Something touched me deep inside The day that Hyde died So bye-bye, Mr Steven Hyde I'm a hottie and you're nottie Jackie's gonna be mine She likes my brunette Likes not your curly ass twine Oh, Jackie Burkhart, you are so fine [talks] I wrote that just for you, Jackie.
Hyde: He didn't write that. He ripped it off from "American Pie."
Kelso: Nah-uh. The "American Pie" guy ripped me off.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Ah, my last American Popsicle washed down by my last American grape soda.
Hyde: Fez, it's sad you're getting deported, but this "last American" crap's getting annoying.
Fez: Ah, my last American chance to annoy you.
Eric: Hey. Come on, Fez. Look on the bright side. I mean, we graduate tomorrow. You go to your country with a high school diploma they'll probably make you, like, head medicine man or something.
Fez: Eric, there is no bright side about going back to a place where people are outnumbered by lizards.
Kelso: I'm gonna miss you, man. When you get there, can you mail me a lizard?
Quote from Jackie
Jackie: Hey, guys, I made a decision.
Kelso: So who's it gonna be? "Tall and hot" or "short and kosher"?
Hyde: Would you shut the hell up and let her talk?
Jackie: Okay, look. I had to ask myself a really hard question. Who do I love most? And the answer was so obvious. It was staring me in the face the whole time. The person I love most is me. I love me most.
Hyde: You choose you?
Jackie: Look, if I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would.
Kelso: Wait, what... So where does that leave us?
Jackie: I'll figure that out after I spend the summer by the pool. I feel this would be a lot clearer when I'm much tanner.