Eric: This whole basement thing is Donna's fault. I mean, what's her problem? She's been messing with me all day.
Hyde: It could be payback.
Eric: For what?
Hyde: Well, she had to see you naked for two years. That must've been unpleasant.
Eric: You know, for a guy who's been orphaned twice, you really lack compassion. Speaking of hurtful things... Hey, where's your dad, man?
Hyde: [coughs] Okay. He, uh- He went to work for the police... developing high-tech handcuffs to restrain people with tiny wrists.

Kelso: Hey, uh, puffy-shirt guy called. He wants his puffy shirt back.
Fez: Things at ballet class have taken a turn for the worse. Somehow, I've become one of the girls. A hairy, brown girl.
Eric: Hey, uh, Fez does that shirt come with its own bicycle pump?
Donna: You should talk. That shirt makes you look like a stick of Fruit Stripe gum.
Eric: God, what did you have for breakfast this morning, Carnation Instant Bitch?
Hyde: Okay, that one was out of the park.

Eric: Hey, guys. Don't you think it's time to knock off? You know, maybe forever?
Theo: Yeah, well, we're not done yet. Don't let us get in your way. Do whatever you'd normally do.
[circle:]
Theo: This is what you normally do? I used to do this, too, back when I was being an artist. I love art. But I hate work. But I love art. But I hate work.
Hyde: Do you hear that, Forman? Theo's an artist who hates work and who at this moment is very open to suggestion.
Eric: Oh. I gotcha, Hyde. Theo, cluck like a chicken. Do it. [Hyde punches Eric's arm] Ow! Oh. Theo, if you're unhappy, and I hope you are you gotta be true to yourself. Give up construction, man. Go back to art.
Leo: You broke up with Art?

Theo: Ta-da.
Kitty: You- You didn't do anything.
Theo: It's a commentary. See, you wanted to change your basement into something that it wasn't. So instead of giving you something that you thought you wanted, I gave you something that you needed.
Kitty: Red. Red, I think my contractor's on dope.
Theo: No need to thank me.
Red: Oh, we won't. Because you didn't do anything, hophead.

Theo: Look! It's art! I moved everything in this basement two inches to the left.
Kitty: Oh, yeah.
Theo: I call it "Basement - Two Inches to the Left."
Leo: It's wild, huh? I mean, it's like, where are you?
Red: All right. Mrs. Eric's Mother would like you to leave now.
Theo: Okay, you don't get it. But when your life shifts two inches to the left, you're gonna call me. Oh, yes. You are gonna call me.
Leo: And if you like our work, tell your friends, okay?

Donna: Look, I'm sorry I've been so...
Eric: Bitchy? Yeah, I hadn't noticed. Who said "bitchy"?
Donna: Yeah, well, it turns out that there are some... lingering feelings or something. Not real feelings. Just, like, lingering urges. But they're just lingering feelings. They're not actual feelings. I just wanna make that very clear.
Eric: You have. By using the word "lingering," like, six times.
Donna: Okay. And the basement's actually really cool. And your wrists are very wide. [silence]
Eric: Hmm. Um, there must be some way to break the tension here. Oh, I know. Let's just have sex.
Donna: Okay.
Eric: Really?
Donna: No. See ya.
Eric: [scoffs] Like I wanted to. [to himself] I did want to.

Kitty: Oh, my God! That is the biggest spider I have ever seen. I think it had a rat in its mouth. [groans] Okay, I think maybe the basement isn't the place for me after all.
Eric: Oh, you know what, Mom? I think you might be right. I mean, not only is it bug-infested, but in all honesty I think it might be haunted. [deep voice] Get out.
Kelso: That's spooky.

Donna: Anyway, Mrs. Forman, we have a bunch of decorating magazines at home. I'll bring 'em over.
Kitty: Well, thank you, Donna. And I think that ring looked nice around your neck.
Eric: Donna, what the hell? What, we're not going out anymore so you don't like my basement?
Donna: Well, I guess now that I'm an ex-girlfriend I'm free to tell the truth. Free at last! Free at last! Whoo! [exits]
Jackie: Michael, get Eric some ice.
Kelso: Why?
Jackie: For that wicked burn! Burn, Eric! Burn!

Fez: Oh, happy day. Your friend Fez has taken his love of dance to its logical conclusion. I have joined a ballet class.
Hyde: Man, no offense, but you're, like, one good cry away from being the total woman.
Fez: Oh, really? Well, would a total woman have her own pink satin slippers?

Eric: Okay, Donna, when did you stop liking my basement?
Donna: I never liked it. There were a lot of things I kept to myself when we were dating.
Eric: [chuckles] Yeah, well there were plenty of things I kept to myself. Plenty.
Hyde: Like what, for instance? I'm sure Donna would like to know.
Donna: Yeah, like what, for instance?
Eric: Well, like... [scoffs] why don't you just start first?