Fez: And that is how you make a canoe out of banana skins.
Nina's Mom: Oh! [applauds]
Fez: They love me. See? There's nothing to worry about.
Nina: Great. Then we should get going.
Nina's Mom: Oh! Oh! Don't go. Oh, it's such a pleasure having someone so exotic in our home. We're so happy that Nina has made a friend of you, Fez.
Fez: Well, maybe it's because I'm so handsome and not at all creepy. [all laugh] And, by the way, I see where Nina gets her lovely ass. [all laugh] Hey, I was talking to you, Mr. Bartel.
Nina's Mom: Oh, my!

Fez: Oh, you keep calling me her "friend." Don't you mean, her "boyfriend"?
Nina's Mom: [stammering] Boyfriend? [both laugh]
Fez: What's so funny?
Nina's Dad: Well, you can't be her boyfriend.
Fez: Why not?
Nina's Dad: Because you're- What's the word, honey?
Nina's Mom: "Different"?
Nina's Dad: Okay. Different.
Fez: Oh, I see. You mean, "not white."
Nina: Fez, no.
Fez: I think I'll be leaving now. Good day.
Nina: Fez, wait.
Fez: I said good day. By the way, I hope you do not have a good day.

Donna: And then when I asked her to live with me, she said I'm not freaking popular. Am I not on the radio all the time as "Hot Donna"? Okay? There are "Hot Donna" posters all over town, objectifying me. Is Jackie being objectified? No!
Hyde: She only said that 'cause you embarrassed her in a roomful of people. It was like a damn telethon in there. The only thing missing was Jerry Lewis.
Donna: So, what, it's my fault, 'cause I didn't ask her right?
Hyde: Okay. How about when your mom left? Think how you would've felt if you walked into a roomful of people, everyone's talking about how sad your life is and how much they pity you.
Donna: Yeah. I guess I get that.
Hyde: I'm just sayin' that Jackie needs a place to stay, and it'd be really cool if maybe you could ask her in a way that doesn't make her feel bad.
Donna: [groans] Fine. But she didn't have to call me "unpopular." Okay? Unpopular girls don't get free Slurpees from Tommy at the 7-Eleven.
Hyde: Donna, two years ago, Tommy tried to jump a school bus on his moped. He didn't make it, and now he gives everyone free Slurpees.

Donna: So you see, Jackie, the reason I asked you to stay with me before is because, well, you were right. I am unpopular.
Jackie: Go on.
Donna: I'm, um, too tall and- and red hair is gross. And, well, if I don't do something soon my unpopularity is gonna follow me to college... unless you help. Please come stay with me. Jackie... [haltingly] Help me be more like you.
Jackie: Well, as long as everybody knows I'm doing it for you, I'll do it.
Donna: Great.
Jackie: Hey, Donna. Thank you. [hugs Donna]
Donna: You're welcome.
Jackie: Okay. First things first. If you wanna be more popular, you're gonna have to break up with Eric. [off Donna's look] What?

Nina: Fez, we need to talk.
Kelso: Hey! He might not be from this country but he's beautiful, damn it!
Fez: Nina, our relationship is over. My self-respect demands it, and there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind.
Nina: Fez, my parents are jerks. I wanna get back at them by doing it with you on their bed.
Fez: Except that. Thanks, Kelso.

Red: [clanging] Fire! Fire!
Eric: What are you doing?
Red: Well, look at this. Mr. Nude is still nude.
Eric: You're nuts.
Red: Wow. Strong words from Mr. Nude.
Eric: We're doin' this every night until you put on some bottoms.
Red: [clanging] Fire! Fire!

Kitty: What kind of burglar robs people on a weeknight? Doesn't he have a job to go to in the morning?
[Red, Kitty and Eric walk into Hyde's room]
Kitty: Jackie?
Red: What the hell?
Jackie: Oh, my God!
Kitty: Oh, my God!
Hyde: Forman, are you naked?

Hyde: Hey, Donna. This just in: Your weirdo boyfriend sleeps in the nude.
Donna: Yeah? So? I do too.
Kelso: Oh, yeah!
Fez: Oh, I can see it now. And it is glorious. Excuse me.

Kelso: Yeah, those freaks were hassling me once too. So when they weren't looking, I stole five boxes of Thin Mints.
Eric: Kelso, those were Girl Scouts.
Kelso: Whatever, man. They were pushy.

Kitty: Here comes Jackie.
Hyde: Well, I think this is a big mistake. When this blows up in your face, don't come looking for me. I'll be busting up Forman's space station again.