Mateo: Sorry, I just got excited to finally tell people.
Jeff: [quietly] No, it's okay. I'm... I'm glad it's finally public.
Mateo: Okay. Why are we in here?
Jeff: I don't know.
Mateo: Why are you whispering?
Jeff: [normal voice] I don't know.
[cut to Mateo and Jeff walking on the shop floor:]
Mateo: He's my boyfriend!

Carriage Driver: Hear ye! Hear ye! I've come to deliver the fair maiden Sandra to good King Jeff.
Sandra: Right here. Couldn't get my deposit back. See you tomorrow.
Carriage Driver: My lady.
Sandra: Thank you. Will you take me to the frozen custard place at the mall?

Jonah: You know, I, uh... I actually thought about going to medical school for a minute.
Glenn: No way.
Jonah: Yeah.
Glenn: I wanted be a doctor too.
Jonah: Really?
Glenn: Yes, really. Why is that a surprise?
Jonah: It's not.
Glenn: You don't think I could be a doctor?
Jonah: No, no-no-no. Glenn, come on, no. I just... I'm... I don't even think I could be a doctor.
Glenn: Oh... Not even you.
Jonah: No, that's... I... that's out of context.
Glenn: I have to take these buttons over there.

Amy: What about Sandra?
Mateo: She's just been saying she's dating him to get attention.
Amy: Oh, my God. That is... That is so...
Mateo: Smart.
Amy: Sad.
Mateo: Sad. Yes.

Marcus: Hey, Ames, guess what?
Amy: Huh?
Marcus: Jeff's banging Mateo, and Sandra's insane. Don't tell anyone though. Hey, Gare, guess what?

Amy: So neither one of you thought it was worth mentioning that Sandra's been making it up the whole time?
Cheyenne: Maybe it'll be good for everyone to know. Maybe Sandra will be happy.
Garrett: Yeah, 'cause that's usually why people with low self-esteem commit to elaborate lies for weeks... 'cause they just want the truth to come out.

Jonah: Hey, Glenn, you want a little help with that? Those things can be tricky.
Glenn: It's okay, I know how to ride a bike. I've been doing it since I was 19.
Jonah: Oh, all right. Yeah, you know what, I... these things are ridiculous. How 'bout I just help ya maybe adjust some of the...
Glenn: You know what? Why don't you just adjust your mouth to closed? Okay, buddy? I mean, what are you? The president of bikes?
Jonah: You... are you okay? Glenn? Are you okay? Glenn?
Glenn: [strained] I'm okay.

Jonah: I'm gonna take your foot, and I'm gonna just slide it into the cage, okay? Just... just gonna slide it in.
Glenn: That's the voice you use with confused seniors. Don't do that.
Jonah: No, that's-I'm not doing... This is just the way I talk.
Glenn: Fine, you can do that foot. I'll work on this one, okay?
Jonah: No, Glenn, that's... That's not how a bike works.
Glenn: No!
Jonah: You must know that.
Glenn: They're not related. Left, right.

Jonah: If it was up to you, we'd still be living in the Stone Ages.
Glenn: Oh, really? Well, if it was up to you, they'd be selling abortions from vending machines.
Amy: Guys, guys, guys, maybe let's not have this conversation out here on the floor.
Glenn: Jonah, you have no idea the toll that an abortion takes on a woman's body.
Jonah: Oh, and childbirth is so easy.
Glenn: Well, at least it's n...
Amy: Okay, ah, pretty sure neither one of you guys...
Jonah: You know what, Glenn? This is what a feminist looks like.
Glenn: I'm a feminist! I'm a big flaming feminist.
Amy: [claps] And that is our skit on the abortion debate. We hope you enjoyed it.

Jonah: I'm just gonna loosen your tie right here.
Glenn: No, stop telling me what to do!
Amy: Glenn, you need to do what he's telling you.
Glenn: No, I don't. He's stupid!
Jonah: Glenn...
Glenn: I'm gonna tighten my tie.
Jonah: Okay. How's that working out for ya?
Glenn: I feel perfectly good.