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Spokesman Scandal

‘Spokesman Scandal’

Season 2, Episode 5 - Aired October 13, 2016

Glenn questions his judgement after the Cloud 9 spokesman is arrested. Amy and Jonah challenge each other to a series of dares. Meanwhile, Cheyenne is annoying her co-workers with baby talk.

Quote from Sandra

Mateo: Okay, guys, guys, guys, I need everyone's opinion. Especially you, Garrett, since your brand is telling it like it is.
Garrett: Oh, thank you for noticing.
Mateo: Did you guys pick up on any weird tension between me and Jeff at that meeting? 'Cause I think he might be into me.
Sandra: [laughs] Oh, I thought you were joking.
Mateo: No.
Sandra: I am so sorry. [whispers] Stop bullying, Sandra.

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Quote from Mateo

Garrett: Why do you think he's into you?
Mateo: Okay, the last time he was here, he came up to me at the end of the day, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I noticed you."
Garrett: [gasps] He said, "I noticed you"? Ooh, Jeff is slutty. [laughter]
Mateo: Okay, it's not what he said, it's how he said it. It wasn't like... "I noticed you." It was like... [whispers] "I noticed you." No, that wasn't it. It was more like... [deep voice] "I noticed you." Ah, that sounded Scottish.

Quote from Glenn

News Anchor: [v.o.] Police discovered a secret dungeon where the actor would videotape himself dismembering and devouring his victims, often while in cloud costume.
Glenn: Oh, God.
Dina: I've said it once, I'll say it again: You are a terrible judge of character. Also you have a weak chin and you can't dance.
News Anchor: Additional items found on the property were a coffin filled with hair and several small bags of marijuana.
Glenn: Wait, they found marijuana? This is incredible! [hugs Dina]
Dina: Oh, no! Get that weak chin off me!
Glenn: They found marijuana! He was high!
Dina: I hate him. So much.

Quote from Jonah

Amy: We definitely need smocks because you make your brushes too juicy.
Jonah: Hello, Clarice.
Amy: Oh, gross, stop.
Jonah: It's crazy how much Kyle stuff we have to throw away. Corporate really put their money on "not a cannibal."
Amy: Oh, God, they used to make us wear this suit to hand out flyers.
Jonah: Dare you to put it on.
Amy: No. No, thank you.
Jonah: Oh, okay, fine. No, I get it. You don't want to put on the cloud suit because you've already got a big chicken suit on 'cause you're a big chicken.
Amy: Oh, my God. Is that supposed to pressure me into putting the suit on?
Jonah: You're right, you're right. Doing awesome things is overrated. Just go back to painting.
Amy: Well, grab an umbrella 'cause there's a cloud moving in. Psssh.
Jonah: What does that even mean? Oh, my God! You're doing it. Okay, sorry. Say your cool line again. Say it.
Amy: Well, grab... no, we're past it.

Quote from Jonah

Jonah: Isn't that terrible? Today, of all days, she's dressed like the killer. Why would she do that?
Amy: [to an approaching boy] Hi.
Mother: Oh.
Jonah: Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. I wouldn't let my kids touch that.

Quote from Jeff

Jeff: [on the phone] It says on your website that all your rooms have Animal Planet.
Mateo: Hey there. I noticed you were on the phone.
Jeff: No, it's not life or death, it's just, you know, at the end of a hard day, sometimes you want to come home and watch some monkeys swinging around on the trees.
Mateo: I'm just gonna come back later.
Jeff: I'm sorry, could you hold on one second please? [to Mateo] Hey. There's something I'd like to ask you, but I feel a little weird about it.
Mateo: Oh, no. Please, please.
Jeff: Yeah?
Mateo: Yep, ask away.
Jeff: Somebody vomited in the ladies room, multiple stalls. Would you mind?
Mateo: Of course.
Jeff: Great, thank you. Thanks. I appreciate that. [on the phone] Hi, yes, while I have you on the phone, I wanted to ask you why the curtains were gone when I got back last night. I'd prefer to have them.

Quote from Cheyenne

Garrett: Okay, so, tummy time is literally just a baby spending time on its tummy. Hmm.
Cheyenne: Wait, she's gonna turn her head... now. Nope, now. Nope, now. Nope. Oh, sorry, guys, bad timing.

Quote from Jonah

Jonah: How much longer do I have?
Amy: Three minutes. You can just give up.
Jonah: Nope! I take not being a chicken very seriously. [to a customer] I'm doing a dare. I'm winning.

Quote from Dina

Dina: All right, we're gonna be testing for everything, okay?
Cody: Excuse me, I just remembered I have to leave early. I have a thing at the place.
Dina: What place?
Cody: That place. You know, the one we talked about earlier.
Dina: You talked to me about it?
Cody: Yeah, I filled out an application and Brett saw it, he said it's cool, so...
Dina: You spoke to Brett about it? [Cody nods] Okay, nobody is leaving until I get three ounces of yellow, all right?

Quote from Justine

Glenn: Okay, look, everyone, Dina has my full support on this. Okay, this is for your protection.
Dina: Look, people, if you haven't done any drugs in the last 72 hours, you have nothing to worry about.
Justine: What about way too much wine? I'm so bad.
Dina: Justine, you're not an alcoholic. Stop bragging.

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