Dina: So what are we talking? Rook? Western jackdaw? Thick-billed?
Garrett: I don't know. It was a crow. Who cares what kind?
Mateo: Um, we care. Because it we're gonna kill it...
Dina: We're not gonna kill it. We're gonna get it out of the store safely.
Mateo: Right. Obviously. Priority one is safety.

Man: Excuse me, sir.
Jonah: Um... are... are you talking to me?
Man: Oh, yeah. You. We would to buy one rifle, please. Just the one rifle, please and thank you.
Jonah: What... what are you gonna hunt for?
Man: Uh, liars. Elk. Hunting elk.
Jonah: Um... if you could excuse me for one moment.

Jonah: Uh, hey. So there is someone over there that I really, really don't think should be allowed to own a gun, um, or a car or a fork. What do I do?
Amy: Well, I mean, you're allowed to deny him service but only if you think he's actually dangerous.
Jonah: Okay, good. How do I know that he's actually dangerous?
[The man is talking to a mannequin]
Amy: Yeah, maybe no gun for him.

Man: Can I take a look at that bolt action rifle?
Jonah: Yes, you may. All right, uh... Oh, hey, this one is expensive.
Man: It is. But I really want to treat myself today.
Jonah: Yeah.
Man: I just got laid off.
Jonah: Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Man: Yeah, I'm pretty upset about it.
Jonah: How upset are you?
Man: Well, extremely. I worked there over 20 years, and then they just get rid of me like I'm trash? Well, they're gonna regret it.
Jonah: Service denied. Service denied.
Man: Excuse me?
Jonah: You just said you're upset and they were gonna regret it, so nope.
Man: 'Cause I'm the only one who understands the payroll software. I mean, who's gonna do it now? Monica?
Jonah: Look, I'm sorry I'm being overly cautious, but you know what? Why don't we try and find you a better hobby than this, you know? Have you ever considered fencing?
Man: No. Fencing sucks. [walks away]
Jonah: No, it doesn't.

Tate: So just the morning-after pill? [man and woman nod] That would have been my guess. My man. All right. Okeydokey. So a couple things you need to know about this bad boy.
Glenn: Hey, Tate. You want to see some pictures of my kids?
Tate: No. Gross. I hate kids.
Glenn: Wait till you see how cute they are. Children are such a gift.
Woman: Oh.
Glenn: How do I call up these pictures? All right, just give me a sec. [reads paper] "Viewing photos. Go to the home screen by tapping Menu button."
Woman: I'm sorry. We really need to get going.
Tate: Of course. Glenn, would you just cut it out? Let them buy the damn pill.
Glenn: Would you mind very much if I just cut in front of you? I am in a huge rush. Huge!
Woman: I guess.
Glenn: Thank you. All right. Yeah, hi, I'd like to buy all of your morning-after pills, please. [to the couple] Big weekend. Gonna get all liquored up and promiscuous.

Sandra: I'm happy to try to clean it up, but the problem is, if I even think about vom... [dry heaves] Oh.
Amy: Okay, okay. Okay. I got it. I'll clean it up. [Sandra dry heaves again] Oh, god.

Tate: You know I'm just gonna order more of these, right?
Glenn: And I'll be standing right here, Cloud 9 credit union card in hand.
Tate: Okay. Well, that comes to $1,127 and 54 cents.
Glenn: What? That much?
Tate: Yeah. Well, each pill is over 40 bucks. I'd explain why, but your brain couldn't handle the science.
Glenn: No, no, I can't afford that. I mean, well, with car payments and mortgage and groceries for 13, we're barely getting by.
Tate: Mm.
Glenn: I'm gonna have to return these.
Tate: Mm. No, you can't return pills.
Glenn: What?
Tate: Yeah. That's illegal. You could have tampered with them.
Glenn: But you know I didn't. I was here the whole time.
Tate: Were you?

Jonah: But you said I have the right to refuse service to anybody I want.
Amy: Yes, technically you have the right, but you need to use some common sense.
Jonah: If I was using common sense, I would take all of these guns and throw them out the door.
Amy: You know what I mean.
Jonah: Look, I told you I wasn't comfortable working the gun counter.
Amy: Yeah, and I told you that you have to.
Jonah: Ugh, god forbid you let something go for once in your life.
Amy: Why do I have to let it go? Why don't you let it go, Jonah? It's not my job to make every man in the world's life easier. I'm not moving you.
Jonah: Well, I'm not changing what I'm doing.
Amy: Ugh! Why is everybody being such a jerk today? [a bird craps on Amy]
Jonah: I think the bird...
Amy: Yeah. I know.

Glenn: I just feel so bad about letting my moral priorities interfere with your buying choices, especially because for all I know, you might not even be planning on using the pill. You know, maybe you're gonna use them as plates in a doll's house or drop 'em in a Diet Coke to see if they fizz up.
Woman: No, we had unprotected sex last night.
Glenn: Okay, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh! What I don't know can't hurt me or send me to hell. [laughs feebly] Just kidding. Um, so do you have cash?

Jonah: I'm sorry; I just have way too many concerns about your level of anger.
Man: This is discrimination. I'm gonna call the NRA about this.
Jonah: Okay, well, you know, that you're getting so angry is only proving my point.