Jerry: So, what's this guy about?
Elaine: I don't know. He wouldn't tell me his phone number, where he worked. I'll bet he's in a relationship.
Jerry: Or he's a crime fighter safeguarding his secret identity. Elaine, you could be dating the Green Lantern!
Elaine: Which one is he?
Jerry: Green suit, power ring.
Elaine: I don't care for jewelry on men.

Elaine: Well, will you at least keep me company until somebody comes out?
Jerry: All right. [pause] Hey, you know what's weird?
Elaine: Huh?
Jerry: I used to be able to have a huge meal, go right to sleep. But I can't anymore.
Elaine: Nodding off.

Elaine: Well, I was right. He's an adulterer. And he's cheating on his wife with me. [to a passerby] We haven't done anything yet. [shouting up to Jerry] I'm hungry. Can you throw something down?
Jerry: [throws down a granola bar] All right. Here! I'm gonna try and fix the buzzer.
Elaine: [o.s.] It went in the sewer!

Kramer: What are you doing?
Jerry: You jammed your key in here? You shorted out my intercom!
Kramer: You just had to go looking for it, didn't you? See, you hate it that I have a little secret. Anything I do - ooh, ooh - you gotta know everything about it. You're so obsessed with me.

Kramer: All right, Jerry. Let's see if you can get it in your head that this is not an Easter egg hunt for your childish amusement.

Jerry: I'm sorry. I-I don't know you.
Phil: What?
Jerry: There's been some robberies in the building. I-I can't let you in.
Phil: But, I live here. I ran out to get some birdseed, and-and I forgot my key.
George: Sounds like a scam.
Jerry: [closing the door] Very sorry.
George: [waiting for the elevator] So, I broke up with Maura.
Jerry: Great, you're lonely and miserable again.
George: Feels right.
Jerry: Is that guy still there?
George: He's staring at us.
Jerry: Don't look at him. [Phil starts knocking] We don't hear that.

Woman: Where's Glenn?
Elaine: You're the woman from the street, and I am so sorry. You know, I'm not really a home-wrecker. I thought he was a superhero, I swear.
Woman: Lady, I'm not his wife, I'm his welfare caseworker. Is he home?
Elaine: This is his home?
Woman: Yes.
Elaine: So, he's...
Woman: Poor.
Glenn: [carrying an old wooden chair into the apartment] I think this will burn!

Elaine: He wouldn't give me his number because he doesn't have a phone. He's not married. He's poor.
Jerry: Is he wretchedly poor? Does he wear one of those barrels, with the straps?
Elaine: He probably busted it up and burned it for heat.
Jerry: So, when are you giving Boxcar Willie his walking papers?
Elaine: How can I end it over money? I feel bad.

George: Hey, maybe this cheating thing is what I could use to ditch Maura.
Jerry: Sure, just tell Maura you're having an affair.
George: She's like a district attorney. If it's not the truth, I'll break under the cross. I actually have to do it.
Jerry: Could you move over there? [George reluctantly moves across the booth]
George: Hey, you know, there's this secretary at work that always had a crush on me.
Jerry: Really? How come you never pursued her before?
George: She's too tan. It's the middle of the winter, she's like a carrot.

Elaine: Did I leave my glasses here?
Jerry: He can wipe out his checking account in a single bound!
Elaine: Keep them!