Jerry: Well, let's think. Have you ever dealt with the poor in any other situation?
Elaine: Yes. There was this homeless guy who used to urinate on our garbage cans.
Jerry: Good. How did you handle that?
Elaine: Well, we gave him a few bucks, and now he goes in the alley across the street.
Jerry: Same situation. Pay him off, and you're clean.
Elaine: Well, I am not paying Glenn off to get out of this relationship. Wh- What am I supposed to do, just walk into his hovel, and hand him... Well, how much do you think it would be?

Elaine: If only he could have been cheating on his wife, you know, things would have been so much simpler.
George: Who's this, Blue Arrow?
Elaine: Green Lantern.
Jerry: We found out his super power was lack of money.
Elaine: All right.
Jerry: He's invulnerable to creditors.
Elaine: We get it.
Jerry: He's the 'Got-no-Green' Lantern.
Elaine: Thank you.
Jerry: Hey, Elaine. Maybe his girlfriend is Lois Loan.
Elaine: [sarcastically] Well crafted.

Jerry: Kramer, I can't believe we're grave robbers.
Kramer: "Man's best friend." Jerry, I want something like that on my tombstone.

Maura: Hey, Honey.
George: What? M-Maura, what are you doin' here? I ended this relationship, twice.
Maura: George, you didn't mean that. That was just a fight.
George: Why does it only seem like I'm the only one working at this breakup?
Maura: George, I listened to your arguments, and they were rambling and flimsy. I'm not convinced. Come on, get dressed and let's get some dinner.
George: All right.
Maura: Eww, Mr. Apple. You have a brown spot.

Jerry: Phil... hi. I-I know we kind of got off to a bad start. But your bird, which is lovely, by the way, made a mess on my door.
Phil: And?
Jerry: I thought maybe you'd clean it up, or your maid, there.
Phil: That's my wife.
Jerry: All right, I think we're done here.

Jerry: Kramer, they think I killed Fredo! And who buries a bird?
Kramer: Yeah. Just give it to the Portuguese guy, and he puts it in the incinerator.
Jerry: Just get the key and let's get out here.
Kramer: You know, it's a funny thing about that bird dying. I hid the key in Fredo's food dish. Whew! That's a weird coincidence.
Jerry: Kramer!?
Kramer: What?
Jerry: You killed Fredo!
Kramer: Fredo was weak and stupid. He shouldn't have eaten that key.

Jerry: Kramer, I need those cufflinks, but now they're in the box, and the key is in the bird. What are we gonna do?
Kramer: You just answered your own question.
Jerry: Oh, no.
Kramer: I'll get the shovel.

George: Maura, I want you to know I've given this a lot of thought. I'm sorry, but we, uh, we have to break up.
Maura: No.
George: What's that?
Maura: We're not breaking up.
George: [pause] We're not?
Maura: No.
George: [longer pause] All right.

Jerry: Obviously, you didn't make a convincing case. Let me hear your arguments.
George: Well, I don't really like her.
Jerry: That's good.
George: I don't find her attractive.
Jerry: Solid.
George: I'd like to sleep with a lot of other women.
Jerry: Always popular.
George: Sometimes at restaurants she talks to her food. 'Oh, Mr. Mashed Potatoes, you are so good.'
Jerry: You have an airtight case.
George: And in bed--
Jerry: I'm afraid we're out of time.

Glenn: So, um, why don't we get together some time?
Elaine: Oh, sure. Why don't you give me your number?
Glenn: I think it'd be better if I called you.
Elaine: Oh, okay. Maybe we could grab some lunch sometime. Do- Do you work around here?
Glenn: Mmm... no, not really.
Elaine: So, is there anything you can tell me about yourself?
Glenn: I think you're very beautiful.
Elaine: [laughs] Oh, that'll do.