Jerry: I know. You told me you like her. Everything is going good.
George: No, everything is not going good. I'm very uncomfortable. I have no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand.
Jerry: Hand me that, would you?
George: Yeah, sure. How do I get the hand?
Jerry: We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the hand right from the opening.
George: She's playing a recital this week at the McBierny School. You wanna hear her play? I got two extra tickets, you and Elaine could go...
Jerry: Yeah, that sounds like something.
George: Then afterwards maybe we could all go out together. You know, she'll see me with my friends, she'll observe me as I really am, as myself. Maybe I can get some hand that way.

Kramer: Hey, smell my arm. Smell it!
George: No, with all due respect, I don't think so...
Jerry: That smells good, what is that?
Kramer: The beach.
Jerry: The beach?
George: What, did you go swimming? It's 29 degrees out!
Kramer: No, I just joined the Polar Bear Club.
Jerry: You joined the Polar Bears?
George: What the hell is a polar bear?
Kramer: Well, it's these people. They go swimming in the winter. They're terrific. I just took my first swim today. Brrrrrrr! It's invigorating!
Jerry: Yeah. So's shock therapy.

Elaine: I don't know how anyone does this. It must be so nerve racking. How do they warm up their fingers?
Jerry: They have a piano backstage they warm up on.
Elaine: No, we would have heard it.
Jerry: What, do you think they just crack their knuckles and come out?
George: I told her we'd all go out afterwards, okay? And don't applaud when she stops playing the first time. It's not over yet.
Jerry: [whispering] I resent that you said that! That's directed at me, isn't it?!
[As Noel comes out, the audience applauds]
Jerry: [claps] Is this okay? Can I do this?

Elaine: I'm sorry. George, I'm sorry!
George: What did you put the PEZ dispenser on her leg for in the first place?
Jerry: I dunno. It was an impulse.
George: What kind of a sick impulse iss that?
Jerry: How could I know she'd start to laugh?
Elaine: [laughing] I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am!

George: Oh, these are my friends, Elaine and Jerry, ... Noel
Jerry: You play a Hell of a piano.
Elaine: Yeah, I was really moved. Really moved.
Noel: Well, didn't you hear that person laughing? I couldn't play. I was humiliated.
Elaine: Well, I'm sure it wasn't at you.
Noel: Well, then what was she laughing at?
Jerry: PEZ?
Noel: Uh, no. No, thank you.

Noel: Did you see her?
George: Me? Uh, uh, no...
Jerry: Well, anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.
Elaine: Well, you know, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.
Jerry: Even if this so called mental defective did put something on her leg she's still the one who laughed.
Noel: I'll never forget that laugh for the rest of my life. [exits]
Elaine: Well, I'm sure she would apologize if she could. Probably somebody is holding her back. Maybe against every fiber in her being.
George: Well, if she want's to continue to have a fiber of her being she'll be very careful.

George: All right. So, are you ready? We'll go out and get something to eat.
Noel: I don't feel like it tonight.
Jerry: We'll be outside
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: It was nice meeting you. By the way, how do you warm up your fingers before you play?
Noel: I just crack my knuckles.

Jerry: [on the phone] Are you sure you want me, John? I haven't spoken to Richie in two years. I don't have a good apartment for an intervention. The furniture, it's very non-confrontational. All right All right. Goodbye.

Jerry: Remember Richie Appel?
Kramer: Oh sure, the guy I told to pour the Gatorade that killed Marty Benson?
Jerry: Right. Well, John Molika is organizing some kind of intervention for him. We're having it here.
Kramer: Can I get in on that?
Jerry: What do you think? It's like a poker game?
Kramer: Is Elaine going?
Jerry: Yeah.
Kramer: Well, I knew him as well as she did.
Jerry: Yeah, but John invited her.
Kramer: So what are you saying, you don't want me to intervene?
Jerry: No, intervene. Go intervene all you want. I am just afraid you might be interfering while we're intervening.

Kramer: You know, I got a great idea for a cologne. The Beach. You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach.
Jerry: Hmm. A cologne that smells like the beach. I can't believe I'm saying this, but that's not a bad idea.
Kramer: Tell me about it.