George Quote #276
Quote from George in The Pez Dispenser
Jerry: I know. You told me you like her. Everything is going good.
George: No, everything is not going good. I'm very uncomfortable. I have no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand.
Jerry: Hand me that, would you?
George: Yeah, sure. How do I get the hand?
Jerry: We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the hand right from the opening.
George: She's playing a recital this week at the McBierny School. You wanna hear her play? I got two extra tickets, you and Elaine could go...
Jerry: Yeah, that sounds like something.
George: Then afterwards maybe we could all go out together. You know, she'll see me with my friends, she'll observe me as I really am, as myself. Maybe I can get some hand that way.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Pez Dispenser’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Women put on their perfume in an interesting way. I love watching them do that. You ever notice that, guys? They have their little key, Stratego little areas. [hums, mimics putting perfume on] Places they think we're going. And they always hit this one. [points to the back of his wrist] Women are convinced this is the most action-packed area that could ever happen in the dating world. What? What is that, ladies? What is happening here? Is that in case you slap the guy or something? He still finds you intriguing. [mimes being slapped] "Oh! Chanel."
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: You know, I think Kramer might have been responsible for getting Richie involved with drugs in the first place.
Elaine: What? How?
Jerry: A few years ago, the comedy club had a softball team. Kramer was our first baseman. You couldn't get anything by him. It was unbelievable. Anyway, this one game we came back to win from, like, eight runs behind. So Kramer says to Richie, why don't you dump the bucket of Gatorade on Marty Benson's head. The club owner. So Richie goes ahead and does it.
Elaine: So? What happened?
Jerry: What happened? The guy was, like, 67 years old. It was freezing out, he caught a cold, got pneumonia, and a month later he was dead.
Elaine: Shut up!
Jerry: All the comedians were happy. Because he was one of these club owners nobody liked anyway. But Richie was never the same.
Elaine: What about Kramer?
Jerry: He's the same!
Quote from George
Elaine: When I was outside I ran into John Molika.
Jerry: Really John Molika, they guy that used to bartend at the Comedy Club. How's he doing?
Elaine: He's good.
George: Uh, can we cut to the chase?
Jerry: "Cut to the chase"?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: What are you, "Joe Hollywood"?
George: A lot of people say it.
Jerry: I would lose that.
George: [accusingly] What's that?
Jerry: "Lose that"? That's not a Hollywood expression!
George: ... Yes, it is.