Paige: For like a week now, I've had really bad blurred vision and a stiff jaw.
Elliot: Sounds like my dad after a couple martinis. Looks like you may have a case of WASPiness. [laughs]
Denise: [v.o.] And you may have a touch of the "self-laughies".

Denise: So, I've been thinking about her a lot. And with the blurry vision and the jaw thing, I bet Paige has temporal arteritis. We should do a temporal artery biopsy on her.
Elliot: Yeah, I'm not doing that. At her age, it's probably neurological.
Denise: [v.o.] Crap.
Elliot: Now, I just gotta remove the price tag, because this little dressy is a keeper. [dress rips] Frick!
Denise: [v.o.] Good.

J.D.: Everything alright?
Denise: Yeah, I'm good.
Denise: [v.o.] Crap, it's his Camp Counselor face. Please don't try to make me open up.
J.D.: Come on, Grumpy Bear. You see these little things on the sides of my head? They're not just for holding up my shades.
Denise: Fine. I wanted to do a temporal artery biopsy on a patient and your girlfriend ignored me.
J.D.: Classic Elliot. Look, she's totally supportive and nurturing, but she'll never take an intern's medical opinion. It's just not her way. She's not proud of it. Just like I'm not proud of the fact that just because I stand up to Dr. Cox, oddly everyone thinks I'm so special. You've heard about that right?
Denise: I have.
J.D.: It sucks.

Todd: You know what's annoying? We all started out at the same time and now Dorian is so far ahead of us, career-wise.
Turk: That doesn't bother me.
Derek: [v.o.] Really?
Turk: This guy wants his spleen removed? I got his spleen now. Incoming! [throws spleen at glass] You know what? Why don't we take everything out? How about that? I got a heart! I got his heart! I got his heart!
[reality:]
Derek: [v.o.] It bothers him a little.

Janitor: Hey, smiley intern. Can I talk to you for a sec?
Sunny: Sure.
Janitor: See you around.
Sunny: Wait. I thought you wanted to talk.
Janitor: No, I just wanted to punish those two for touching my cart. So I rigged the elevator to give them a little bit of a scare. [Katie and Howie yell] It's all in good fun.

Elliot: See and as long as I wear my lab coat, you can't even see the duct tape at all.
Paige: The neck line is so cute.
Denise: [v.o.] This girly talk is driving me insane.
Paige: And thanks so much. I love this lip gloss, what flavor is it?
Elliot: Apricot-chacha-gotcha.
Denise: Oh my go, we get it. You have vaginas.
Elliot: On that note, I guess we'll go.

Elliot: Denise, if you'd studied her case history, you'd know that Paige has Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome. She was born without a vagina.
Denise: Oh, my God. Are you serious?
Elliot: No, but if you're gonna act weird around my patients, I'm gonna have to torture you.
Denise: Okay, I'm pissed right now, but that was pretty awesome.
Elliot: Thank you.

Denise: I'm just frustrated. I really think we should do the biopsy, it can't do any harm.
Elliot: Oh please, not this again.
Denise: If Paige really does have temporal arteritis and we don't catch it early, she could go blind.
Elliot: Denise.
Denise: Look, I'm not good at mustering up this whole over-the-top puppy dog sentiment thing that you just eat up, but what if I started telling people that I wished you were my older sister?
Elliot: [sighs] Do you?
Denise: No. Not really.
Elliot: I'll still take it.

Carla: Dr. Cox is hiring more nurses. Forced overtime for the nursing staff is now over. And it's all thanks to this guy right here! [applause]
J.D.: Stop it everyone. Okay, keep it going a little bit longer. And now you can stop it. That was nice.
Derek: [v.o.] Come on, man. Hold it together.
Carla: If we do hook up tonight, for once, you won't be the only one thinking about J.D.
Derek: [v.o.] That did it.

Sunny: You're bigger than I remember.
Janitor: Thanks.
Sunny: I have to know. Why did you keep me from getting on the elevator? I touched your cart, too. [nervous chuckle]
Janitor: It's simple. I don't mess with you because I don't think you can take it. You're not strong enough.