Cole: Hey, darling. I'm Dr. Cole. I'll be your physician. So, what are we dealing with here? Non-hodgkin's lymphoma. Oh, giant drag.
Turk: Hey, come here.
[later:]
Turk: Hope you enjoyed your last day of med school.
Cole: Yeah, I don't see it.
Turk: I'm sorry. What?
Cole: You know that bust you pass on your way to pick up your tiny paycheck? Notice any resemblance? Symmetric features, strong jaw. Yeah, that's my Pop-Pop. Paid for this whole building. So here's the skinny, I'm Teflon. You can fire bullets at me if you want, but be careful. When they ricochet off me, they sometimes hit other people. Puh-ching. Puh-ching.
Turk: Don't puh-ching me.
Cole: Puh-ching.
Turk: Don't you puh-ching me!

Dr. Cox: Has anyone seen the crash cart?
Maya: Ah, it's, uh, over by bed four.
Dr. Cox: [to J.D.] Now can you make that out?
J.D.: I think I heard the words "bear fight," but that makes no sense. [Maya walks away] You're right. That's super fun. I love doing things with you. Thanks, Perry. I needed that.

J.D.: [v.o.] Sacred Heart. Eight years of great memories. This place will live forever. They tore down the old crappy hospital and rebuilt it on the med school campus. I'm just back to teach some classes. First, though, I need to do my morning good luck ritual.
J.D.: [kisses Elliot's pregnant belly] And seven. That's one good luck kiss for every month you've been in there.
Elliot: Are you done yet?
J.D.: Not yet. And thank you for making mommy's boobs so much bigger. They're almost jugs.
Elliot: Seriously, I think I can probably rest 'em on your head. Check it out.
J.D.: Okay. Yeah. Whoa! Talk about a 10-gallon hat.

J.D.: [v.o.] Part of me hates how familiar this seems. I hope I can find a way to make this all feel new.
Lucy: [v.o.] Oh, my god. The first day of med school. Everything is so new. I mean, just look at all these people who don't know that I used to wear a back brace. I can look left. Yep, new sights, new sounds, even new smells.
Lucy: Kiwi.
Denise: What?
Lucy: I smell kiwi.
Denise: Yeah, it's my shampoo. I love kiwis, okay?
Lucy: I love them, too! Actually, that's not true. They're hairy. They look like monkey nuts.
Denise: Don't smell people. It's weird.
Lucy: I'm Lucy.
Denise: I don't care!

Lucy: [v.o.] Regroup, Lucy. Find an ally.
Lucy: Hi. I'm Lucy.
Cole: Cool. Hey, after class, you want to go somewhere, get weird with each other?
Lucy: I feel like you skipped a few steps.
Cole: Hey, come on. You already know if you're in or out. So what's the deal, girl?
[fantasy: Lucy straddles Cole's thighs and licks his neck]
Lucy: Not interested.

Denise: Joining us, gramps? You know, 'cause you're old for a med student. They told me to give out fun nicknames for team building.
Drew: It's working.
Denise: Look, uh, Drew, I don't like dealing with, well, people. And all these kids obviously look up to you.
Drew: I've never spoken to any of these people.
Denise: I can still feel a bond, and I thought, why don't you deal with the whiny, emotional stuff? And in return, I will let you do that.
Drew: Look, just, uh, let me fly under the radar. Please.

Turk: What the hell are you doing?!
J.D.: I thought it'd be more dramatic If we spotted each other from afar And then ran to see each other!
Turk: But now if we meet in the middle, we'll wind up somewhere inside the hospital, and this really feels like more of an outside thing!
J.D.: If you count to ten before you run, I should be able to get downstairs and over to you!
Turk: I'm already counting!

J.D.: Dr. Kelso, what are you doing here?
Dr. Kelso: I'm teaching a couple of classes.
Turk: J.D.'s gonna teach here, too.
J.D.: [chuckles] Oh, Turk, sometimes I'll teach them. Sometimes they'll teach me, but we're always going to inspire each other.
Dr. Kelso: You're still such an odd little fruit. Is that woman's jacket?
J.D.: No, it's a man's small.
Turk: Yes, it's actually the jacket from Dangerous Minds.
J.D.: He doesn't need to know that.

Ben: I'm a frequent flier.
Lucy: Congrats, I guess.
Ben: No, no, no. That means I'm in and out of the hospital a lot.
Lucy: Oh.
Ben: Ben. Ischemic bowel disease.
Lucy: Lucy. I'm a med student.
Ben: You look like you could use a grape.
Lucy: Thanks, Ben. I really could.
Dr. Cox: No stealing food from patients. [Ben throws Lucy a grape] Gather 'round, murderers. Gather 'round. I saw that. Spit it out. Now eat it again. At least we know you're a good listener.
Lucy: [v.o.] Score!

Lucy: I'm sorry about the grape thing.
Dr. Cox: Oh, don't sweat it, 42.
Lucy: Is my number going down because I'm talking to you?