Dan: So you got the baby fever, huh?
Elliot: Yep. Hopefully I'm already pregnant with Keith's child.
Keith: Oh, come on! I'm 25! I haven't even been to Europe!
Elliot: Keith, wait!

Turk: You know what name I've always liked for a girl? Honor.
Carla: Turk, you know how mean boys are. They'd be all like, "I got on her. Did you get on her?"
Turk: Yeah, everybody got on her 'cause she's easy.
Carla: That's your daughter.
Turk: Yes, it is.

Carla: It's just weird. Angie was perfect. Now nothing seems as good.
Turk: What you got there, sir?
Dr. Kelso: Dead hamster.
Turk: Angie's dead? Baby, we got our name back!
Carla: Yeah!

Janitor: Sir, if no one's officially called dibs...
Dr. Kelso: Take it, freak.
Janitor: What? I'm making a hamster vest for one of my squirrels.

Jordan: What's going on?
Ted: [on the phone] I love you too, dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.
Dr. Cox: Ted's on the phone with his mom, so we're taking a five.

Dr. Cox: Why? Why is Kelso doing this to me?
Jordan: Well, you know.
Dr. Cox: No, I don't. All I remember is that we were both making fun of our kids, and then bam, he stuck me with Ted.
Jordan: No, no. You made fun of your kid, he made fun of his kid, and then you made fun of his kid. Don't you get it? You can never say bad things about someone else's kid. Ever.

Ted: [on the phone] Mom, if you can't reach that spot with the lotion, I'll get it for you when I get home late tonight. OK, kisses. [hangs up] You ready to get back in there?
Dr. Cox: Yeah. Gotta vomit first.

J.D.: OK. OK, guys, let's all gather around. Huddle up. Now, you guys, Herbert in there needs an MRI, but he won't fit into our machine. Does anybody know what we should do?
J.D.: [v.o.] Nobody wanted to say it, but sometimes when hospitals have Herbert-sized patients, they'll send them to the one place that has MRI machines big enough. The zoo.
J.D.: I know what you're all thinking, but I'm not gonna do that to Herbert. It's too humiliating.
[later:]
Elliot: Herbert, you're too big for our MRI machine so we're gonna have to take you to the zoo.
Herbie: Damn. Well, that sucks.
Elliot: You kind of brought this on yourself, didn't you?
Herbie: [sighs] Man.

J.D.: Why do you hate Herbert?
Elliot: He's been in here seven times, all for weight related problems. I mean, he's never even tried to get healthier. Sometimes, protecting someone's feelings isn't the best way.
J.D.: Spare me the tough love speech, alright. You really think going in there and being mean to Herbert is going to cause him to turn his life around and lose a hundred pounds?
Elliot: Probably not. But as long as I'm still in there trying to get him to change, then I can sleep at night. When you think about your brother later, how are you gonna sleep?

Carla: Angie and George, wow. Hmm.
Turk: You know what's weird? Now that they have names, everything seems so real. I can see George's smile. And I can see Angie having your curly hair.
Carla: I hope she doesn't have my ear infections. I was really sick as a baby.
Turk: I was a climber. Our windows don't have bars. If George gets up there, he's falling right into the alley.
Carla: What if George doesn't love me?
Turk: What if Angie stops breathing in her sleep? Why'd we have to pick these stupid names? I hate it when things get real!
Carla: You know, when I was in high school, I had a shop teacher named George who hated black people.
Turk: There was a prostitute at my town mall, her name was Angie.
Carla: Those names are out.
Turk: Yeah, they're out!
Carla: And we don't need new ones.
Turk: We don't need new ones for nine months. I'm ready for bed.
Carla: Me too.