Janitor: You wanted to see me, sir?
Dr. Kelso: I know it was you, and you are going to pay dearly.
Janitor: Wait, first I want you to meet a new doctor.
[The Janitor wheels in Dr. Toilet]
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Toilet? He's beautiful.
Janitor: I trimmed a little fat in the budget so we could afford him.
Dr. Kelso: Ted's vacation pay?
Janitor: What vacation pay? [both laugh]
Dr. Kelso: Get out of here.

J.D.: [v.o.] Women tend to hear one thing when men offer them wedding advice. So when Keith said this:
Keith: Elliot, two months isn't enough time to plan a wedding.
J.D.: [v.o.] Elliot heard this:
Keith: Go ahead, do whatever you want, regardless of what I say.
Elliot: Great! Two months it is!

J.D.: God, I can't stop thinking about Elliot.
Turk: Dude! It's over, okay? You guys had your chance. She crushed you. You crushed her. It's always a train wreck.
J.D.: That was then!
Turk: What's so different now?
J.D.: She's getting married. I don't know. I guess in the back of my head I thought even after all the hell we put each other through, we might end up together, you know?
Turk: Yeah.

J.D.: What's all the extra security around here?
Patrick: Every year, the same group of rowdy doctors, arrive and all they do is drink, hit on women and trash the place. Oh, God. Here they are now.
[Dr. Kelso leads a group of similarly-aged chiefs of medicine]
Dr. Kelso: What up, Phoenix! Oh, that's what I like about the south. Hey there, Patrick! Good to see you again, man. [throws Patrick's paperwork] Fetch!

Dr. Shapiro: Oh, Bob, would you hit that, huh?
Dr. Kelso: What are you stoned? I wouldn't hit that with Stottlemeyer's dong.

Turk: Come on. Let's go get you mind off Elliot.
J.D.: It's not that easy, T- Oh, my God. Is that who I think it is?
Turk: Yep. Old MC. I was saving it as a surprise.
J.D.: He's only the best Young MC impersonator on the circuit. The man's a genius. Let's get him to say: "Bust a move!"
Turk: Dude, the guy spends year after year on a convention circuit saying that line, I'm pretty sure he's sick and tired to say it.
J.D.: You probably right.
Old MC: "Bust a move, man!" Hey, "Bust a move!" Bust a move, fellas!
J.D.: You bust a move! It's Old Young MC.
Turk: Check me.
J.D.: You're the one who should be busting moves! I can die now.

Elliot: Save the date.
Dr. Cox: Oh, gosh. July 21, that's going to be a bit of a problem.
Elliot: Why?
Dr. Cox: Because I wouldn't go to your wedding if it was held in my very own backyard.
Jordan: Hey, can I bring a date? Oh, what am I thinking? I'll meet someone there.

Elliot: I'm notifying all my old boyfriends that I am officially off the market.
Dr. Cox: I'm sure the "pulse" setting on your shower head will be devastated.

Dr. Cox: Look, blondie, I have a cardiac patient who needs profusion imaging and since your fancy private practice has one of those SPECT cameras, I was hoping you'd let us use it.
Elliot: Sure. Just as long as you promise to come to my wedding, the camera's are all yours.
Dr. Cox: Why do you even care?
Elliot: I know that we don't exactly like each other, but over the past six years you've become a huge part of my life, so I would love you to come. Plus, if you don't then table 14 would be boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, and that's insanity. Jennifer next to Jennifer next to Nadja, next to Bobby, but then next to Britney, and Britney doesn't get along with Jennifer.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, camera or no camera, please consider this me checking the "will not be attending" column.

Keith: Sorry, Carla but I need you to take care of this lab work.
Carla: Keith, I'm already covering three floors. Can you believe this, Ted?
Ted: [groans] When people try to put me in the middle of things my throat closes.