‘My Big Mouth’
Season 2, Episode 4 - Aired October 17, 2002
After Carla opens up to J.D. he shares her secret with Turk. Meanwhile, the surgical residents compete for a trip to Mexico with Dr. Kelso, and Elliot tries to get Dr. Cox to notice her by taking on the task of breaking bad news to his patients.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Catch you later, my brother.
Turk: I'll holler.
J.D.: He said "holler."
Quote from Dr. Cox
Nurse Roberts: Mr. Tillman's results are back. It's bad.
Dr. Cox: Dammit, Laverne, why can't I ever be the one dying?
Nurse Roberts: I don't know.
Dr. Cox: It was rhetorical.
Quote from Todd
Todd: Thank you, sir. You haven't lived until you've tasted El Todd's guac.
Quote from Turk
Bonnie: Shove it, Turk!
Turk: Oh, I'm gonna shove it, and love it, and dance around above it. Hey, shove it, and love it, and dance around above it. Come on.
Quote from J.D.
Carla: Please, they might as well be naked. Slut.
J.D.: Carla. Trust me, there's no way that he's cheating on you.
Carla: Yeah, you're probably right.
J.D.: Wait, that's it? You were just freaking out.
Carla: Hey, you wanted in.
J.D.: [v.o.] Crazy.
Quote from Turk
Dr. Wen: Christopher.
Turk: Sorry, sir. I just can't believe Kelso chose me.
Dr. Wen: Yeah, me neither. I told him to take Bonnie.
Turk: So, then, why'd he pick me?
Dr. Wen: Among all the surgery residents, what's the difference between you, Bonnie, Todd, Steve, Erik, and Vijay?
Turk: First of all, she's a-
Dr. Wen: There it is.
Turk: Wait. Because she-
Dr. Wen: Yep.
Turk: She?
Dr. Wen: Exactly.
Turk: Huh? It's because she's a woman. Damn!
Quote from Carla
Carla: Mr. Hogan, I've come up with a little mantra for you.
Mr. Hogan: Hit me.
Carla: "If meat is your treat, your oesophageal varices will bleed into your intestines, leading to a horrible, horrible death."
Mr. Hogan: Catchy.
Carla: Just say it over and over again.
Mr. Hogan: Horrible, horrible death. Horrible, horrible death. Horrible, horrible death.
Quote from Carla
J.D.: Carla, look, I messed up and I'm so sorry.
Carla: Bambi, we're good, OK? We're pals.
J.D.: Oh, thank you.
Lauren: So you think it's funny to switch people's shifts?
Carla: Bye, pal.
Lauren: I missed my baby's first steps.
J.D.: I'm so sorry. Does this mean you're married?
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Why would you get turkey when there's egg salad?
Turk: Dude, there's no egg salad today.
[J.D. looks over and sees Troy standing with the Janitor]
[fantasy: The Janitor and Tray are bathing in a vat of egg salad]
Quote from Carla
J.D.: So we're even, right?
Carla: Even? I told a nurse you switched her shift. You babbled all my crazy to the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with.
J.D.: Well, I could spend the rest of my life with Lauren, or at least with her tushie. I just want to wash it. Is that weird?
Carla: You think this is funny?
J.D.: Come on.
Carla: I told you how hard it is for me to let my guard down. And that quick you burn me. Never again.