Dr. Cox: What's your name?
Sunny: I'm Sonia, but everybody calls me Sunny.
Dr. Cox: Is it because of your haunting resemblance to Sonny Bono?
Sunny: Who's that?

Elliot: Peggy's got a touch of pneumonia, but she's gonna pull through.
Peggy: I wish my husband was here. He passed away several months ago.
Denise: That sucks.
Peggy: It totally sucks. We were together for 53 years.
Elliot: [holds breasts] I'm sorry, Peggy. Is it cold in here? 'cause it just feels a little freezing. Um, I'm just gonna go get a sweatshirt.

Elliot: [on the phone] I don't know. Just hearing about how much that old patient missed her husband made me think of you. Aw. And a deep, wet tongue kiss right back at you. [makes kissing sound; hangs up]
Ted: Is that J.D.?
Elliot: No, it's my Dad. [Ted looks alarmed] Of course it was J.D.
Ted: Oh, that's good.

Ted: Gooch! I forgot to tell you, I have a girlfriend now. Stephanie Gooch, This is Elliott, and this is some girl who digs fat guys. Come on, Gooch, there's, like, 75 other people you haven't met who don't believe you exist. Hey, Miguel! This is the girlfriend, and she is real. In yo' face!

Turk: Baby, baby, baby, baby. I was pulling some dude's spleen out today, And check it. Blood splashed on my scrubs. It looks like a tiger! [growls]
Carla: Why is that part a different color?
Turk: I might've used chocolate pudding to do the tail.

Turk: Hey, Elliot, let me tell J.D. about the baby.
Elliot: Already did it.
J.D.: [on cell phone] So, anyway, tell Turk that's great news about his baby.
Turk: That's it?
J.D.: Elliot, why would you put me on speaker without telling me? Turk, I'm so excited for you!
Turk: Too little, too late, buddy!

J.D.: [on cell phone] Elliot, is Turk still there?
Elliot: No, he's gone.
J.D.: Good, because let's face it, everybody's having babies. It's getting a little boring.
Turk: Dude!
J.D.: Elliot, take me off speaker!
Elliot: I'm trying! Stupid technology!

Elliot: I miss my boyfriend much. If he were here, I might actually lick his face.
Dr. Kelso: Thank you, Dr. Appropriate.

[As Dr. Cox does paperwork at his desk]
J.D.: [over cell phone] Ah, I love listening to you work. Come on. Admit it. You miss me as much as I miss you.
[later:]
Dr. Cox: There you go, Dorian. That's what I think of you as a person. I hope you enjoyed it. [hands cell phone to Elliot] Here, you.
Elliot: I didn't hear it all, but that sounded harsh. Are you okay?
J.D.: [high-pitched voice] No!

Turk: Hey, Teddy, Carla said I could tell something to just one person, so here goes! Carla and I are having a baby!
[Ted, Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso mumble]
Turk: What the hell is the matter with you people? Carla and I are having a baby!
Dr. Cox: No, you're having a second baby. It's not that big a deal. When we had ours, we barely told anybody.
Dr. Kelso: You had a second kid?
Dr. Cox: A little girl. You held her in your arms.
Dr. Kelso: Mazel tov to you both.
Turk: Can't a brother get at least a mazel tov?