Sunny: Dr. Cox, two quick things. First off, I looked up a picture of Sonny Bono, and my feelings are very, very hurt.
Dr. Cox: Noted.
Sunny: Apology accepted. Second, I know we're aren't supposed to ask you About Mr. Francone-
Dr. Cox: Huh?
Sunny: The potato.
Dr. Cox: Right.
Sunny: See, the thing is, his sister just called from London, and she was hoping we could keep Mr. Francone - the potato - alive until she got here. Can you please help?
Dr. Cox: Let me see his chart. I'll tell you what to do first. Go ahead and write this down. Wrap him in foil and poke holes in him with a fork so he cooks all the way through.

Dr. Kelso: Send Peggy for an ABG and a chest CT. , And when you're done, send her sputum for atypicals.
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize that you don't work here anymore?
Dr. Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend. Plus, I have forgotten more about medicine than you two will ever know. I don't know you, but I assume I have you beat because you're blonde and you're rolling with Dr.
Reeks-of-beer.
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: Yeah, and watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I ever beat up.
Dr. Kelso: Ha! I like her. She's got girl balls.

Ted: Gooch and I are gonna hold off on the babies. We've only known each other a week. Plus, with all the cycling, apparently I've done a real number on my sperm. Mine don't have any tails. They're just kinda blobs that roll from place to place.

Elliot: You eatin' lunch?
Dr. Kelso: What gave it away?
Elliot: J.D. and I usually eat lunch together.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, god, here it comes.
Elliot: J.D. was sitting in that exact chair when we had our third kiss.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, that's very romantic. I will try not to drill any more farts into it.

Carla: Hey, Sunny, how'd it go last night?
Sunny: Great.
Carla: Thank God.
Sunny: I mean, he crashed a few times, but I brought him back. I mean, really, the only scary moment was when he seized while I was injecting him with dopamine. The needle slipped, and I accidentally stabbed myself with it, but I only freaked out for a second until I remembered that comas aren't contagious. And then the dopamine kicked in, which actually made the whole night more enjoyable, but now I'm sort of jonesing for another hit. Is that bad?
Carla: Let's go downstairs and get you some juice.

J.D.: [on cell phone] You sound upset. What's wrong?
Elliot: I don't wanna get into it.
J.D.: You know what I do when I need to clear my head? I just let my mind drift and fantasize about stuff.
Elliot: Yeah, I've noticed. [silence] J.D.? J.D., you're fantasizing right now, aren't you?
J.D.: That's why you should never trust a camel.
Elliot: [laughs]

Ted: Hey, man, I wanted to warn you. Stay clear of my girlfriend. The gooch does not like being lied to.
Turk: I'm pretty sure I can handle it, Ted.
Ted: Why did you lie about that being your first kid, anyway?
Turk: 'cause when Carla told me about the new baby, I didn't get that crazy, excited feeling I got when I heard about Izzy. I'm an idiot.
Ted: Nah, it's just your second kid. Look, I don't know if you noticed, but I've been kinda, like, jazzed about this being my first girlfriend. You know, it's new and exciting. But when she dumps me - And believe me, it's coming like a freight train - I'll try to find a new gal, and if I do, it probably won't have that initial excitement that the first one did. [laughs) But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be great, 'cause, I mean, I'd be having a second girlfriend. Yeah. Does this have anything to do with your situation?
Turk: Kinda.

Carla: Whose room is this?
Dr. Cox: Kelso's dead friend.
Carla: Oh, yeah, that old biddy. You see? I never used to say stuff like that.
Dr. Cox: You know, death doesn't bother me unless it's someone I know. And even then, if it happens in a funny way, like my cousin who, honest to God, was flattened by a steamroller. I still actually enjoy it.
Carla: I abandoned an intern who was just trying to keep her patient alive so his sister could say good-bye.
Dr. Cox: Look, sooner or later, everybody in this place stops caring about hopeless, terminally ill, brain-dead coma patients and interns who want to save the world. You somehow managed to hang on quite a bit longer than the rest of us. Carla, you are a wonderful nurse. You got a husband, plus you got a kid, plus you got another kid coming. It was completely unfair of me to expect more of you than anyone else in this dump. And brace yourself, 'cause here it comes. I, Percival Ulysses Cox, am sorry.
Carla: "Ulysses"?
Dr. Cox: Shh, shh, shh.

Elliot: I thought it would be different this time with J.D. I didn't think I'd let myself get so vulnerable.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's dumb. Relationships are about taking a leap of faith. That's why it's called "jumping in." Now Dorian seems to make you happy. God knows why. Isn't that enough?

[Elliot is talking to J.D. on her cell phone as she walks through the hospital]
J.D.: [on cell phone] I get why it wigged you out. At the end of the day, relationships are tricky.
Elliot: Uh, please don't do that whole philosophical, pontificating thing.
J.D.: Okay.
Elliot: Fine. Go ahead.
J.D.: Thanks. Things are always different the second time around.
Turk: You are about to be a big sister, Izzy. Yes, you are.
J.D.: You just have to remember that even if things are changing all around you, deep down you're still the same person.
Elliot: [scoffs] I guess.