Dr. Kelso: Peggy was a sweet old bird.
Elliot: She only had pneumonia.
Dr. Kelso: She and her husband were together for 50 years. Sometimes in those cases, it's not the illness that gets you. I mean, your soul mate's gone, and your body just gives up. I actually think it's kind of sweet.
Elliot: I don't know. If I ever get married [crosses fingers, and my husband dies before me [crosses fingers], I'm sure that I'll have enough going on in my own life that I'll want to keep on living, you know?
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's just some quality crap you're spewing there. You've been moping around here all day just because Dorian's been gone, what, 12 hours? And I'm guessing you didn't hear a word I just said because you're busy looking at your telephone to see if he has texted you in the last five minutes. Did he?
Elliot: Yes. "Thinking of you."
Dr. Kelso: See? And there's the smile. You see, you're no different from Peggy.
Elliot: What are you saying, that if J.D. Died, I would just die right afterwards?
Dr. Kelso: Well, I could only hope. But my point is, don't stand there being judgmental about her when you're no different.

Denise: That old broad and her dead husband got my engine revving, too. I need some action. Luckily, cheeseburger day at the caf really brings out the fatties.
Elliot: Denise likes the big fellas.
Denise: Oh, check out the ripples on that gentleman. Ooh, it's like somebody threw a boulder in a pond. Fat dudes rule. They never expect commitment, and they try so hard in the sack.
Elliot: Plus, they're just so grateful afterwards.
Denise: Mm. Well, I'm just gonna put this out here for bait and see what ambles out of the forest.

Denise: Um, Dr. Reid, no offense, but have you been drinking?
Elliot: Oh, no. I read that shampooing with beer is good for your hair. So I'm all sudsed up in the shower this morning, and the hot water dies, so now I've gotta spend the entire day smelling like a brewery, because there is no way that I'm going to rinse off with ice water. You see, this dress only works without a bra, so if I get cold, it looks like I'm smuggling candy corns.