‘Her Story’
Season 4, Episode 5 - Aired September 28, 2004
Elliot is inspired by Molly (Heather Graham) to stand up to Dr. Cox, which causes him to lash out at J.D. in front of his residents. Meanwhile, Carla decides she and Turk need to go to bed at the same time. [Narrated by Elliot]
Quote from Dr. Kelso
J.D.: You yelled at me in front of my residents.
Dr. Cox: I didn't yell at ya. [J.D. plays the recording:] So how's about you learn to walk, ditch the tape recorder, and act like you got a pair.
Dr. Kelso: I'll let you two talk. Oh, and Perry, I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that earlier I wish I'd said, "I must have ordered the pain in the ass, seeing as you're sitting there."
Dr. Cox: Here I was thinking the same thing, Bob. Let's do this again.
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Cox: Tell you what, there, Gidget, if you promise to leave right now, I won't yell at you in front of your peons anymore.
J.D.: You ruined my credibility. Now look me in the eyes and tell me that's not messed up.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Later on today when you are with your residents, I'll come up for something, you'll tell me you're too busy in a manly way, and I will contritely turn around and walk out of the room with my tail between my legs. Problem solved.
J.D.: Can you pull off contrite?
Dr. Cox: Can you pull off manly way?
J.D.: Should have seen that coming.
Quote from Elliot
Dr. Cox: Hey, camel-butt. I heard you and Carla talking earlier.
Elliot: [v.o.] Frick on a stick with a brick!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Okay, everybody, gather around please?
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I need to talk to you?
J.D.: I'm a little busy right now, Perry.
Dr. Cox: Oh. My fault, I'll come back later.
J.D.: Oh, and another thing. From now on, I'd prefer it if you'd address me as "Dr. Dorian."
Dr. Cox: Are you really doing this?
J.D.: You bet your ass I am. And from now on, if you have a problem with me, you come see me in private, not in front of my boys. My boys got enough to worry about!
Dr. Cox: Wrap it up, there, bingo.
J.D.: I simply will not tolerate it, Perry! And neither will my boys!
Dr. Cox: [whispers] The next minute you find yourself alone, I'm gonna kill ya.
J.D.: It was worth it. Lonnie, slap the face! [Lonnie slaps his face] All of you, slap your faces! [They all do] Awesome.
Quote from Carla
[As Turk falls asleep after he and Carla had sex:]
Carla: That was too easy. No way I'm doing that seven nights a week.
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: [v.o.] I love my new tape recorder. Not only is it a time-saver, I can record my every thought.
J.D.: [records] I like toast.
J.D.: [v.o.] They aren't all winners. Still, as long as I have this thing, I don't need to be in my head so much.
[J.D. bumps into Elliot]
Elliot: Excuse me. Heh.
Elliot: [v.o.] Why did I say "excuse me"? He bumped in to me. I have to stop doing that.
[A nurse bumps into Elliot]
Elliot: Excuse me.
Elliot: [v.o.] Frick!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Sorry I'm late. I was recording some thoughts and I slipped and fell.
Dr. Cox: Gimme this.
J.D.: [on tape] Possible nicknames for Dr. Cox when we become best friends: The Coxinator, Cox of Seagulls...
Quote from Dr. Cox
Elliot: [v.o.] Here it comes. Another condescending rant about how we suck at our jobs.
Dr. Cox: Since you two have become chief residents, I've noticed that your leadership skills are how can I put this delicately... crap.
Elliot: Oh, sir, I don't know about that.
J.D.: Some people say I'm...
Elliot: That is so not nice.
Dr. Cox: Well, then, why don't you go ahead and get that young resident back there to come up here?
J.D.: Easy. Lonnie?
Lonnie: Not right now! [Dr. Cox whistles] Yes, sir?
Dr. Cox: Slap yourself very hard in the face, then leave. [Lonnie slaps himself]
Quote from Dr. Molly Clock
Dr. Molly Clock: See Dr. Kelso over there? I have to go over and justify my program for our psychotic homeless population? Am I scared to go over to his table of stuffy fat guys, 'cause I know they're just gonna stare and my chest the whole time? Of course. But I'm just gonna act confident, and they're gonna believe that I'm confident.
Elliot: [v.o.] Wow!
Dr. Molly Clock: Excuse me. Yeah, those are my boobs. [crosses her arms] Have you had time to go over my proposal?
Dr. Kelso: Ah, yes, medical care for crazy homeless people. Sounds like a money-maker.
Dr. Molly Clock: You know it's a good idea.
Elliot: [v.o.] As I watched Molly shielding her boobs and working her magic, I realized she wasn't just my friend she's the mentor I've always been looking for.