Elliot: [v.o.] She's the Peppermint Patty to my Marcy. You know, minus the thick glasses and the strong lesbian vibe.

J.D.: Half of what rappers say doesn't make any sense. Like that Snoop Dogg-Dr.Dre song? What does "still hittin' them corners and those ho-hos girl" mean?
Turk: Many disadvantaged African-Americans have limited nutritional choices, therefore they must subsist on Ho-Ho snack cakes. It's a black thing, bro.
Dr. Molly Clock: Actually, Turk, it's "still hittin' them corners and them 'lo-los' girls." Lo-los, not ho-hos.
Elliot: See, Turk, in the'hood, a lo-lo is a lowrider, or a car with an adjusted suspension that allows it to bounce up and down. And Dre and Snoop enjoy driving around together in their lowriders around the corners, or lizzle-rizzles. [rapping] I'm representin' for them gangtas all across the world
Dr. Molly Clock: [rapping] Still hittin' them corners and them lo-los girls
Both: [rapping] Still taking my time to perfect the beat, and I still got love for the street
Carla: Turk, you just got schooled on rap by the two whitest chicks in America.

Elliot: [v.o.] There's Dr. Kelso. Okay, you're chief resident now, so say hi. But don't stop, or you'll have to come up with something else to say, and you know you don't improvise well.
Elliot: Hi, Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid.
Elliot: I see you've trimmed your nose hair.
Elliot: [v.o.] Frick on a stick.

Elliot: [v.o.] Molly's nervous because her boyfriend's in town.
Dr. Molly Clock: You know, Mike's kind of private, so when we go out to dinner, just pretend I never told you any of that personal stuff.
Elliot: Gotcha.
Elliot: [v.o.] Mike's got a curved peep.

Turk: Our TV's working. Why are you reading?
J.D.: Oh, I'm researching some leadership techniques for my residents.
Turk: Well, you're better off watching good ol' Papa Smurf, here. Yeah, he says leadership boils down to three things: Smurfaration, Smurfaration, Smurf.
J.D.: "Preparation, Inspiration, and Fear"?
Turk: You know it.

Elliot: [v.o.] Oh, my God. How does she eat like that and stay so thin? If I didn't love her so much, I'd totally spread rumors that she's bulimic.

Dr. Molly Clock: So how's it going?
Elliot: I'm freaking out about grand rounds today because Dr. Cox hung me out to dry again.
Dr. Molly Clock: You'll be fine. Just do what I do: Fake it till you make it.
Elliot: Like when a guy is really bad in bed and you pretend that he is awesome so he doesn't go to a special store, buy one of those weird pumps, and then accidentally run into your dad?
Dr. Molly Clock: Kind of.

Turk: Check out my man getting his leadership on. First he hits 'em with a little preparation.
J.D.: Are there any more questions about evolving treatment therapies?
Turk: Next, inspiration.
J.D.: Now, I just want you to know, you guys all have the potential to be amazing doctors.
Turk: And finally, a dose of fear.
J.D.: M'kay, I'll see you guys. [yells in Lonnie's face]
Turk: Okay, fear might need a little work, but otherwise Smurftastic!
J.D.: That's how I Smurf, baby.

Dr. Cox: How, uh, how old is this patient?
Elliot: Seventy-nine.
Dr. Cox: Uh-huh. And how old would you say he was when you started this procedure?
Elliot: [v.o.] The more I thought about how awesome Molly is, the more I got sick of Dr. Cox's crap.
Dr. Cox: Oh my God, I could fly to China, adopt a child, raise her and send her to medical school, and then train her to do this procedure in the time it's taking you to finish.
Elliot: [v.o.] Enough! He's never been there for you! Burn this bridge once and for all!
Dr. Cox: Barbie, honest to God, if you-
Elliot: You know what, Dr. Cox? I have so had it with this whole macho alpha-male thing, and I have heard every tired, recycled put-down you have in you. So, from now on, save your stupid lessons for someone who gives a frick, because honestly, I don't even wanna see you or the stupid poodle perm of yours unless it's walking away from me.
Elliot: [v.o.] God, that felt great! Huh. Hopefully it won't have ramifications for anyone else.

Elliot: [v.o.] As I watched Molly gently stroke the hand of a convicted felon, I had to admit his eyes were stunning. Still, I couldn't help but think what the next few years would be like if she was my mentor.
[fantasy:]
Dr. Molly Clock: The police caught this guy robbing a liquor store. His tox-screen came back positive for methamphetamines and cocaine.
Elliot: Okay, what should I do?
Dr. Molly Clock: Oh my God, make out with him immediately. He's such a catch.
Elliot: [climbs on top of patient] Hi, I'm Dr. Reid.