‘Her Story II’
Season 5, Episode 10 - Aired February 7, 2006
Carla is annoyed when people at the hospital refer to a new nurse as a "young Carla", but her real fear is she might be too old to conceive. J.D. gets worked up about the little things in his relationship with Julie (Mandy Moore). [Narrated by Carla]
Quote from Carla
Mrs. Wilk: Sweetie, you're not old. You don't have crow's feet. Your bra size hasn't gone from a 34B to a 40 long. And you don't have arthritis. Neither do I, but that's how it gets ya.
Carla: And then Mrs. Wilk said something that really surprised me.
Mrs. Wilk: I mean, it's not like you're trying to get pregnant and you can't.
Carla: Actually, I am.
Mrs. Wilk: Oh.
Quote from J.D.
Carla: Of course none of us were the least bit surprised that J.D. made this happen.
Elliot: Why is Julie behind that bush crying?
J.D.: Who knows? Could be anything. You know what's interesting, Turk? She's not saying, "That's so sad." She's actually crying.
Turk: You're an idiot.
J.D.: Yes, I am.
Quote from Carla
Carla: [v.o.] I tried, but I just couldn't get babies off my mind.
[fantasy: all the adults in the hospital reception are wearing nothing but diapers:]
J.D.: Excuse me, fellas. Gotta take a whiz. Wait a minute. Why am I rushing? [eye flutters] All right.
[reality:]
Carla: [to J.D.] You're disgusting.
Quote from Turk
Turk: You're too picky with women.
J.D.: You used to be the same way. Somehow you got over it and now you're married.
Turk: That's 'cause I was never as bad as you.
J.D.: Oh, really? Remember "Whitney the Snapper?"
Turk: [sighs]
[flashback to Turk with a girl in his college dorm:]
Turk: Hey. I just wanted to say thanks for dinner tonight.
Whitney: And for dessert you're gonna get a little Whitney a [snaps] la [snaps] mode. [snaps]
Turk: Get out.
[present:]
Turk: Too much.
Quote from Carla
Elliot: Carla, you've only been off the pill two months. Why are you getting a fertility test?
Carla: [v.o.] Because I'm old and the crock pot is on the fritz.
Carla: No reason.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: OK, he is super cute. So do not look into his eyes. You could get lost.
Carla: I'll be fine.
Elliot: Ask him if he remembers me from my pelvic exam! Ask him!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Why are we watching a movie again?
Turk: It's called immersion therapy. What we're about to watch is going to make her say "that's so funny" so many times that eventually it's not gonna bother you any more.
J.D.: But how can you guarantee she's gonna laugh at this movie?
Turk: I can't. But Uncle Buck can.
[later:]
Julie: That's so funny. That's so funny. Look how big that pancake is! That's so funny.
J.D.: [whispering] Make her stop!
Julie: That's so funny!
Quote from Carla
Carla: [v.o.] This guy's not that hot.
Dr. Matthews: Well, you've only been trying for two months, so I don't think you need a fertility test yet. Unless, of course, you're over 35.
Carla: [v.o.] Well, buddy, I'm 36 and OK with it.
Dr. Matthews: So how old are you?
Carla: I'm 29.
Carla: [v.o.] Ravish me.
Quote from Jordan
Dr. Matthews: I've been seeing a lot of 29-year-olds lately.
Carla: Oh, my God, really?
Dr. Matthews: Yeah. Like her.
Jordan: Call me J.J.
Quote from Turk
J.D.: Immersion therapy didn't work.
Turk: Dude, relax. I was a psych minor in college. The next time she says, "That's so funny," I want you to pretend she's says, "That's so money."
J.D.: Ooh, I like that.
Turk: Yeah. It's called word replacement... ism.