Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Okay, so I took extensive notes on ways to maximize our efficiency, because we can't be just as good as the men. We have to be better.
April: Yeah, you're totally right. Let's rock this.
Leslie Knope: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm right now.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling. I wanna get into some garbage. [knocks on metal]
[aside to camera:]
April: What? I love garbage.

April: You ever found a dead body in the trash? Or body parts? Like, a torso or a head?

Chris: According to Leslie's binder, she and April are making even better time than the guys do on a normal day.
Leslie Knope: Wow, that's weird. You know, with us being women and all, you'd think our boobs would get in the way.
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: Is that accurate Mr. Phlegner? Is Councilwoman Knope ahead of the regular schedule for this route?
Steve: Whatever. No comment.
Leslie Knope: Tough stuff. Are you posing? I don't have a photographer with me. Google Earth always taking pics. Let's move it out!

Tom: Yes! Nothin' but net.
Andy: Nice! You are officially a baller.
Tom: I've been a baller since birth, son. Now, I'm an athlete.

Gorkem: You here to move the fridge?
April: [gasps] Are you a ghost?
Leslie Knope: Yes, we are.
Gorkem: Why you think you can lift it? You are two little canaries. Those garbagemen couldn't even lift it. They are like giant bears.
Leslie Knope: Hold on. What do you mean?
Gorkem: Bears are bigger than canaries, yes? So if bears can't lift the thing.
Leslie Knope: No, I understand animal sizes. What do you mean they couldn't lift it?
Gorkem: They tried three days ago, and it does not budge. They say they're gonna come back with more guys, but they come back with canaries. Fly away, little canaries.
Leslie Knope: Those Sanitation goons set us up.

April: No, Leslie, we do not want to tie. We want to win. Those guys suck, okay? We have to prove them wrong. Look, all we have to do is get some PCP. You can move anything on angel dust. My cousin Hesen, he beat off five cops on that stuff.

Chris: Hey, Leslie! Shauna just sent me the disclaimer that she's gonna use before she prints the article. "City manager Chris Traeger was present for this event, and has a personal relationship with the author."
Leslie Knope: Okay, that's pretty good, right?
Chris: "Personal relationship." It's not romantic. But it is descriptive. No, it's not even descriptive.
Leslie Knope: I know you're not used to this, but maybe you should just try to keep it chill and see what happens.
Chris: Great advice. Impossible to follow, but great advice.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Not only did we complete the garbage route and move an unmovable fridge, but the Sanitation department hired three new female trash-haulers. And, best of all, April gave me this present to commemorate our feminist victory. And it's trash. It's filled with trash. Maybe there's something on the bottom here. Let me see-- No, just trash.

April: You know what, I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No, I'm not. They provide for us, and we must obey them because they are our masters.
Leslie Knope: April, stop it.
April: Leslie, you'll never land a beau with that domineering tone. We must always walk behind the men.
Leslie Knope: She- Ugh.

Ron Swanson: Girls, this is Ann. Talk to Ann. She's terrific.
Ann: Hey, dudettes. You stoked about the weekend? No. Oh, look at this pwetty, pwetty wittle beads.
Ron Swanson: They're not infants.
Ann: I don't know. I'm weird with kids. So you guys like Coldplay?
Zoe Lewis: You're weird.
Ann: You're... [runs away]