‘Women in Garbage’
Season 5, Episode 11 - Aired January 24, 2013
After Leslie tries to improve female representation in local government, she and April become refuse collectors to show women can do the job just as well as men. Meanwhile, Ron and Ann look after Diane's kids, and Tom asks Ben and Andy to teach him about basketball.
Quote from Leslie Knope
April: Maybe we should just eat the refrigerator. We start chewing now, we can finish before the sun comes up.
Leslie Knope: We have to solve this problem, or they are going to point to this forever as a reason to not hire women. I should never have taken the bait. It was just such tasty, righteously-flavored bait.
Quote from Tom
Ben: Look, I wanna show you something. Okay, this is Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook after a bad loss. Even the greats get beat, but they get back out there the next day, and they fight. So let's hit the gym again tomorrow.
Tom: Guys, I think I just dribbled up an idea. No, double dribbled it.
Ben: Yeah, you have learned nothing about basketball.
Quote from Andy
Andy: You're a good friend, Ben.
Ben: Oh, thanks.
Andy: Can I borrow $1,500? You're not allowed to ask what it's for. Fireworks.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: First of all, everyone is fine. No one got hurt, but there was an incident.
Diane Lewis: Oh, my God. What happened?
Ann: [sighs] Diane, this is all my fault. I let them go into my nurse's bag.
Diane Lewis: [laughs] Well, who has been having fun with scissors?
Zoe Lewis: Us!
Ivy Lewis: Ann taught us how to be doctors!
Diane Lewis: Yay!
Ron Swanson: You're not mad?
Diane Lewis: No, it's fine. They're kids. Once, Zoe put Ivy in the dryer, so...
Ron Swanson: I'm still incredibly sorry. I feel like I let you down.
Diane Lewis: It is so sweet to me how much you care. This is why I love you.
Ron Swanson: Oh. Well, I love you, too.
Quote from Tom
Tom: Thanks, tiny reporter. It was a huge win for Josh and the boys, and after a huge win, be sure to visit Rent-A-Swag on Durham Avenue for all your post-game press conference fashion rental needs. We've got everything: Dope suits, pocket squares, Gingham shirts, glasses with no lenses, Tiny cardigans, Fedoras... Look at this watch! Whatever swag you need, You can rent at Rent-A-Swag. Now, that's basketball.