Ann: So Leslie and I have come up with the theme for the campaign relaunch rally.
Leslie Knope: "The Comeback Kid."
Ann: Everyone loves a good comeback story. Rocky.
Leslie Knope: Robert Downey, Jr.
Andy: Terminator said, "I'll be back," and he was.

Tom: Also making a comeback, the casual Hawaiian shirt.
Jerry: Well, well, well, look, who's ahead of the curve.
Tom: I was joking. You should soak that in bleach and burn it.

Ben: What's up, Chris? Come on in, man.
Chris: I already did. So, uh, how you been? How are you doing? How are you?
Ben: Great, actually. I'm just learning how to make a "cali-zoin-za." Or, as you Americans like to say, calzones. Do you want one?
Chris: No, I find calzone fatty, and unnecessary.

Leslie Knope: I need a team update, campaign manager.
Ann: Okay. Pistol Pete Disellio will be here in five minutes.
Leslie Knope: I still can't believe that you got him.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Ann got local hero Pistol Pete Disellio to endorse me at the rally. In 1992, Pistol Pete's last-second dunk against Eagleton High clinched a comeback victory for the Pawnee Central Drunken Savages. Team mascot later changed.

Andy: [laughs] Oh, Champion is a way better kisser than you are, babe.
April: Nuh-uh!
Andy: Yes, he is. He's even a better kisser than me. Here, try some.
Tom: Okay, stop it. He's drooling on me!
Andy: Oh! [honks truck horn]
Ron Swanson: This is unsafe.
Andy: Ha ha! Oh, we should do it for the kids. Kids love it, Ron. Just for the kids. [honks truck horn] Hi, kids! Hey!
[police siren] Oh, look. The police even love it. They're sirening back to us. [gasps] That's awesome, I'm just going to tell them that we heard them. [honks truck horn] Heard ya, bud!

Leslie Knope: And then, you come out, and you dunk the ball, and you say, "Voting for Leslie Knope is a slam dunk!" You can still dunk, right?
Pete: Oh, I can, but I won't.
Leslie Knope: Sorry?
Pete: Look, everywhere I go, everybody wants me to talk about that dunk, and that game. It feels like I'm living in the past.
Leslie Knope: But the past is great. The jitterbug, stagecoaches, Herman Munster.

Ben: Oh, my God. That's the whole thing. That's three weeks of work.
Chris: You're gonna be okay.
Ben: No, no, no, no, I'm not. You see, in my head, I thought that was really, really cool. I emailed Leslie two days ago and I compared it to Avatar, Chris, and how can it not be longer?
Chris: Okay, look, what you're feeling, right now is regret and shame.

Chris: Mm-mm. Here you go. Drink up, because it has every herb in my herb belt.
Ben: Oh. Tastes like a belt.
Chris: I know, isn't it awful? But it works wonderfully.
Chris: So, tell me. Do you admit that you're depressed?
Ben: How did you know? I didn't even know.
Chris: The Letters to Cleo t-shirt, the unshaven face, the Doc Martins, and your hair does not have that normal, uptight, rigid, inflexible Ben Wyatt sense of fun. You can't hide these things from friends.
Ben: I think I'm feeling better.
Chris: Herbal smoothie, you have done it again.

Ann: Okay, so, the rally's going to be held tomorrow at the Pawnee Sports Building. April, you finalized a rental, right?
April: [as dog] Shut up, Ann. I told you never to talk to me. [gasps] That was Champion. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Bad dog! Yes, everything's fine with the rental.

Ann: What about Ben? I mean, he ran for mayor at 18 and won.
Leslie Knope: Ben is poison in my campaign. Our relationship is the reason why my advisors pulled out. Ann, don't listen to your head or your heart. Just look at my eyes and say "yes."
Ann: Okay, yes. Yes!
Leslie Knope: I believe in you, Ann.
Ann: Thank you.
Leslie Knope: And your first job as my campaign manager is to start dressing like one. I don't want to have this conversation again.
Ann: Again? You just hired me eight seconds ago.
April: Wow. You're doing a really bad job.