Leslie Knope: Okay, this pit. Give it to me straight. Are we ever gonna turn it into a park?
Mark: Leslie, this is already a park! Look, I mean, you got a dirt slide over here, you got ring around the diaper you could play there. [Leslie laughs] You've got duck, duck, glass you could play right there. Mystery trash. What's not to love about this park, right here, now? I wish we could turn it into a pit, frankly, don't you? But, seriously, I mean, really? Honestly, Leslie, it's gonna be a long, uphill battle. You are gonna be super annoyed with all the people that want you to fail. There is a sea of red tape, endless roadblocks. So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Leslie Knope: Screw it. I'm gonna try to do it anyway. [both laugh] I mean, Kennedy put a man on the moon.
Mark: He did.
Leslie Knope: I can build one park.
Mark: I really admire your tenacity.
Leslie Knope: I really admire you. [they kiss]

Leslie Knope: So, Ann, how do you feel?
Ann: I feel good.
Leslie Knope: I'm recording some of these clips for my website, so I need you to say something moving and poignant. You know, pithy and articulate, kind of grabby, but unrehearsed. But like you just made it up. So just think about it for a second. Now say something like that and then be funny. Okay, go. How do you feel?
Ann: Uh... I'm happy.
Leslie Knope: [laughs] That's great.

Ann: [aside to camera] If Leslie had a boyfriend and he broke his legs, I would do the same for her. I'd probably bring fewer stuffed animals though.

[The doctor saws off Andy's cast, revealing an array of objects and debris stuck to Andy's leg]
Tom: Wow, it's like a sweaty piñata.
Ann: Hey, my iPod!
Andy: Oh, yeah! My pirate!
Leslie Knope: Doctor, if I may, could I keep that cast, please?
Doctor: It's a highly disgusting request, but I don't see why not.
Leslie Knope: Thank you. [to camera] This is a symbol of new beginnings, a symbol of hope, and of our project. We will build this park!
Andy: It is gonna feel so good to walk again, finally. [topples over] Easy!
Ann: Oh, no!
Leslie Knope: Oh, my... Oh, no!
Doctor: Yeah, they might be a little weak at first.

Andy: Babe, when are you gonna tell them about my show?
Ann: Oh, yeah, sorry. Andy's band is playing a show. And we want you all to come.
Andy: It's gonna be a party, so check your suits at the door. It's gonna get crazy.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Andy's band is really good, and it's been driving him nuts that he can't play. He's been writing all these songs about things that are physically near him.
[flashback:]
Andy: [plays guitar, sings] Sandwich! Are you turkey or ham?
Ann: Ham.
Andy: [plays guitar, sings] Lamp! Wish you were a lamp that would light up when you get touched.

Mark: So, what kind of music does your band play?
Andy: You know, I really don't like to define it, but it's like Matchbox Twenty meets The Fray.
Tom: So, rock.
Andy: Well, again, I don't really like to define it.
Mark: So undefinable rock.
Andy: Again, I think the term rock defines it.
April: I totally get what you mean.

Mark: [aside to camera] There used to be this huge speed bump in the center of town. It was insane. So, I decided I wanted to do something about it, and I got it lowered 2 inches. Apparently, what I can achieve in government can literally be measured.

Leslie Knope: Now, you know that we're gonna be building a park on a residential lot, so, of course we're gonna have to get the zoning codes approved and amended by our city council.
George Gernway: What kind of movies do you like?
Leslie Knope: Huh? Uh. Well, you know, documentaries, political thrillers.
George Gernway: I like all kinds of movies.
Leslie Knope: Great. So, I brought some pictures of the lot, and you can tell that the houses are very close to it. How difficult is re-zoning in your town? Could you go into detail a little bit about that?
George Gernway: Sure. Great. It's refreshing to be with someone who actually likes talking about government issues. Most of the women I go out with find it boring.
Leslie Knope: Well, you know, you have to have zoning codes, or else the whole thing could be chaos.
George Gernway: You are a very no-nonsense person, aren't you? I like that. Your mother mentioned that you don't date much.
Leslie Knope: What? I've been focusing on my career. Why do you ask?
George Gernway: Oh, because I haven't been dating much either since my divorce. It hasn't been easy. And I'm coping, but it was tough on the kids. Not my kids, 'cause they're grown-up, but it was tough on their kids. Oh, sorry.
Leslie Knope: Oh, boy.
George Gernway: I'm sorry. I apologize. I shouldn't bring up my divorce on a first date. But I feel I can tell you anything.
Leslie Knope: Uh...

Leslie Knope: [on the phone] He thinks we're on a date. Did you tell him we were on a date?
Marlene Knope: It is a date. What did you think it was?
Leslie Knope: A political strategy session.
Marlene Knope: Leslie, you're not getting any younger.
Leslie Knope: Well, neither is he. And he's 62 years old.
[in the restaurant, aside to camera:]
George Gernway: I think it's going quite well. And she looks like a young Sandy Duncan.
[back:]
Marlene Knope: Oh. Just go back in there and finish the dinner. Let him think it's a date. You don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to.
Leslie Knope: What? Are you crazy? [to a couple seated at an outdoor table] Hi, how are you?

Mark: Hey, Parks Department.
Ron Swanson: Hey, Mark. This is Beth, my ex-wife Tammy's better-Iooking sister.
Beth: Nice to meet you.
Mark: Nice to meet you. You guys are together?
Ron Swanson: Yup. My ex-wife Tammy cheated on me. Then we divorced. Then last week, I ran into her sister Beth here. Turns out she hates Tammy, too, so we've started dating. It's like a fairy tale.
Beth: Yeah, Tammy stinks.