Parks and Recreation Quotes

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.

Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors: Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Ron Swanson in End of the World

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] What religion am I? Well, I'm a practicing none of your [bleep] business.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!

Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington

Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]

Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.

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Trending Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson in Anniversaries

Ron Swanson: Can I help you?
Terk: Yeah, I own Lettuce Eat, the vegan restaurant on Lowell Drive, and I wanted to know why you nailed this letter to my door.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: "Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life."
[back:]
Ron Swanson: Because I believe it. Good day.
Terk: Carnivores. You're all the same.

Quote from April in The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic

Ann: I made a special road trip mix CD for us. I hope you like Tori Amos.
April: Oh, cool. [throws CD out the window]

Quote from Ben in The Treaty

Leslie Knope: I am shocked an appalled by the actions of the honorable delegate from Peru.
Ben: Leslie, just... look... I thought I could handle being friends with you. But I can't, okay? Now, we agreed the other night that we can't spend time together. I think that was the right call.
Leslie Knope: But that was in a romantic way. We can still spend time together as friends.
Ben: It doesn't work that way. You can't just chop up the aspects of a relationship into discrete parts and select the ones you want like a buffet.
Leslie Knope: Why not?
Ben: Because it's selfish. Stop being obtuse.