‘Socalyalcon VI’
Season 6, Episode 19 - Aired March 14, 2017
As Jess helps Nick prepare for a book convention, she realizes she's acting more like his girlfriend than his friend. Meanwhile, Schmidt and Cece struggle to keep their friends out when they finally move in to their house.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Oh, what are you doing? I almost hit you with this brushed steel modern lamp.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Anyway, my former boss, Principal Foster, survived a real dicey safari in Africa. His takeaway was that material possessions mean nothing. Including his collection of super fancy, old-ass wine.
[flashback:]
Dr. Foster: The lions came at night. That put everything in perspective. Everything, dawg.
Quote from Jess
Cece: So, Reagan's out of town till tomorrow. What are you and Nick gonna do tonight?
Jess: What makes you assume I'm hanging out with Nick?
Cece: I'm sorry. What are you doing tonight?
Jess: [mumbles] Picking out clothes for Nick.
Cece: What? I can't hear you.
Jess: I'm helping Nick pick out an outfit. I... we have to nail down his look for SOCALYALCON 6.
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: Wow, SOCALYALCON 6. Wow. I can't believe it's been a whole year since the last Southern California Young Adult Literature Conference.
Nick: You're a 12-year-old girl. You spent $35 to meet me. Is this what you want me to look like?
Winston: I got two questions: uh, where'd I get $35 from, and also, can my name be Daphne?
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Ha! There's so many places for sex!
Cece: [moans] All right. That makes it official. Houses are way better than apartments.
Schmidt: Now that we're out of closets, watch out laundry room. [Cece chuckles] Know what that sound is?
Cece: Hmm?
Schmidt: That is the absence of Nick. The lack of Winston.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: I told you, if we locked both the doors, our guests would know... to come in through the windows. Our ground floor windows. You see? What started out as snark has become a real eye-opener.
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: My author look is missing one thing...
Schmidt: Navy blue, medium weight, two button. I know the blazer. Nick, listen to me. If you ever, ever need a blazer, I don't care how late it is, till the day I die, you wake me up.
Nick: Thanks.
Quote from Aly
Aly: I was a ten-time top master champion on Protocol of Best Enjoyment. These are the spoils.
Winston: Question... is that hippo rideable?
Quote from Reagan
Jess: Reagan! Hi. How do you get off a plane and still look dewy as hell?
Reagan: Uh, I made a deal with the devil some time ago.
Quote from Reagan
Reagan: Um, so Nick told me about what's been going on with you two.
Jess: Oh, he did? Listen, Reagan...
Reagan: No, you listen to me. The next time I find out that my man has been coming to you for cake... I'm gonna take you out... to dinner... to say thank you. [Jess chuckles] Because I hate baking. [both chuckle] Speaking of dinner, why wait? Why don't we do that tonight?