Jess: Behold! Objects from your past to make you remember and... Oh, God, the chair is still spinning. Oh, my God. You guys, I'm on a dolly. I'm on a greased up dolly, and I'm holding fire. Guys, guys, guys, guys...
Schmidt: If we scatter now, one of us can get out and bring help for the rest.

Jess: Oh, Nick, this one is so special.
Winston: Wow.
Nick: The wand I used to fix the, uh, garbage disposal. That one time.
Jess: [voice breaking] Did we find the garbage wand or did the garbage wand find us?
Nick: I remember the day I found it. I thought, "Free stick." Then I brought it home, and it fit into the sink hole. And somewhere along the way, it fixed my heart hole.
Jess: It fixed your heart hole?
Nick: So, thank you, stick.

Jess: I can't believe we've never all stood out on the balcony together.
Schmidt: You know who else liked balconies? Hitler.

Jess: I can't believe you've never cleaned the oven, Cece.
Cece: I think, I think if we just do this, and this, and turn it up real high... I heard that that could work.

Jess: Yeah. What else should we do?
Nick: We could all just pack and move Jess and I out of the loft; we've never done that. It's a joke. It's a joke for sentimentals. It's a sentimental joke.

Jess: My turn. Cece and I need to use the urinals. Follow me.

Nick: Oh, n-n-no, no, no, no, no. You just opened Pantera's box. We do not have time for this right now. We will get in...
[Schmidt empties the box and a bunch of lotions fall out]
[flashback to college-era Nick opening a present from Schmidt:]
Younger Nick: Peppermint lotion?
Younger Schmidt: It's for your feet.
Younger Nick: Yay. I love it.
Younger Schmidt: I knew it! Nailed it.
Younger Nick: Great gift.
Younger Schmidt: Oh, I'm gonna get you one every year. And we're gonna be best friends forever.
Younger Nick: I just met you, like, a week ago.
Younger Schmidt: Uh, just 'cause it says "peppermint," non-edible.
Younger Nick: I never would have thought to eat this lotion.

Schmidt: Nicholas, I have been giving you that lotion every year since we met.
Nick: I know.
Schmidt: I wanted you to experience soft feet for once in your life, and you... and you lied to me.
Nick: What did you want me to do? I had just met you when you first gave it to me. Then you actually gave me the lotion again the following year. And the lie got on top of me. And now I got all these bottles of lotion and I don't even know how to do this stuff.
Schmidt: You don't know how to "do" foot lotion?
Nick: What if I put it on and my feet get... I don't know, too wet and creamy?
Schmidt: Has everything been a lie? Has this whole relationship...?
Nick: Don't call it a relationship, it's a friendship.
Schmidt: Don't belittle what we have by calling it a friendship.
Nick: No, please.
Schmidt: Oh, we don't love each other in Chicago. We're just friends.
Nick: Please, just get over this and help me pack.
Schmidt: Sure. You've lied to me for years, but let's just ignore it so I can help you pack while humoring your wife pretending to care.

Cece: Babe, I think the rest of us have already made peace with this.
Jess: No, I get it. I'm not mad. I just... People live together in apartments all the time. And you guys have lives and kids. And this is just a place. But to me, this is the place where I met all of you. And that's... [sighs] ...that's the best thing that... that ever happened to me, so... Consider yourselves freed. The lock never really worked, anyway.

Cece: Put that down. We are not going anywhere.
Winston: Yeah, we're gonna say good-bye all day.
Schmidt: All day.
Cece: All day!
Schmidt: What? That's not it. You don't say it like that. It's like, all day. All...
Cece: All day!