Nick: Guys, second day of a moving truck on me.
Cece: There we go.
Schmidt: That's a big step.
Jess: Thank you.
Nick: But I'm not doing the insurance. I won't do it. I can't do it. It's a rip-off. It's a freakin' rip-off.

Schmidt: And that's where I met you for the first time.
Cece: Aw.
Nick: I remember you said that was one of your top five boners of all time. Do you remember you used to rank them?
Schmidt: Be quiet.
Nick: It's just foot lotion.

Winston: Cece? If you weren't wearing those dumb-ass shoes, and I hadn't just gotten that new dope Chaka Khan CD-ROM...
Cece: It was dope as hell.
Winston: You would not have become my girl.
Cece: Babe.
Winston: Babe. Don't.
Cece: Babe.
Winston: Babe. You better stop.
Cece: Babe. Babe.
Winston: Mmm. Mm-mmm.
Cece: No. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna cry.
Winston: There' no point. Nobody said nothing about no crying. That's not what this is.
Cece: No, no crying. [Winston exhales deeply]

Nick: Oh, my feet are so creamy. You were right. This is what it means to have soft feet, buddy.

Jess: Well, I feel good. I'm ready to say good-bye to 4D.
Nick: No, not yet.
Jess: W-We've done everything.
Nick: There's one more thing. JFK!
All: FDR!

Jess: Okay, for the last time, the game is True American.
Schmidt: We know the rules.
Nick: We know one rule.
All: The floor is lava!
Jess: Tonight we play the game with a twist. It's True American: Packing Edition. You land on something, you pack it. Shotgun tip-off!

Winston: [whoops] The middle class is disappearing!

Winston: I know a fine brothel right to the left. Yah! Westward ho. We're coming for your gold.

Jess: Almost to Utah, Uncle Brother.