Schmidt: Nicholas, I have been giving you that lotion every year since we met.
Nick: I know.
Schmidt: I wanted you to experience soft feet for once in your life, and you... and you lied to me.
Nick: What did you want me to do? I had just met you when you first gave it to me. Then you actually gave me the lotion again the following year. And the lie got on top of me. And now I got all these bottles of lotion and I don't even know how to do this stuff.
Schmidt: You don't know how to "do" foot lotion?
Nick: What if I put it on and my feet get... I don't know, too wet and creamy?
Schmidt: Has everything been a lie? Has this whole relationship...?
Nick: Don't call it a relationship, it's a friendship.
Schmidt: Don't belittle what we have by calling it a friendship.
Nick: No, please.
Schmidt: Oh, we don't love each other in Chicago. We're just friends.
Nick: Please, just get over this and help me pack.
Schmidt: Sure. You've lied to me for years, but let's just ignore it so I can help you pack while humoring your wife pretending to care.