Nick: Cece, I need you to send Reagan a text and if she responds, then we'll know that she's at least alive... and ignoring me.
Cece: No, I'm not getting involved.
Nick: [whispering] Cece... Send the text.
Aly: That was terrifying.
Winston: Wow, that voice is giving me gooseflesh.
Cece: [quietly] Mm, okay, fine, I'll do it.
Nick: Thank you very much.
Cece: You're welcome?
Nick: It's so easy; she's like a puppet.
Cece: I can hear you. You know that, right?
Nick: Yeah.
Cece: Just say thank you.
Nick: Thank you. Get some sleep, kid.

Schmidt: You know what, Jess... Is this the dress? This can't be the... [closes door] You told Cece it was almost done.
Jess: I know! I choked under the pressure. I spent all last night trying to crack it. Nothing.
[flashback:]
Jess: I can't make you beautiful unless you let me in! [screaming]
[present:]
Jess: I've never procrastinated like this.
Schmidt: Well, what a fun, low-stakes time to try new things.

Winston: Come on, mouse, how about we don't do this today.
Sergeant: Bishop. Your fingers really that weak? How do you button your pants in the morning? [officers laugh]
Winston: Honestly, Sir, with, uh, great difficulty. [officers laughing]
Aly: You guys should see Bishop load his gun. It's like watching a toddler eat peas. [officers laugh]
Daniels: Fellas, come on, this is the LAPD, right? We can't bring this city together if we're tearing each other apart.
Winston: God, you're nice. You're so nice, Daniels.
Daniels: Thanks, buddy. Everybody smells fantastic, by the way.

Aly: What the hell was that?
Winston: Just being normal. [laughs]
Aly: That was not normal.
Winston: I'm sorry, okay? I don't know how to act around you. I can't kiss you. I can't prank you. I can't keep this bottled up. Winnie needs an outlet.
Aly: I know, I know we're incredibly sexual people.
Winston: That's right.
Aly: But if we try... We can keep our hands off of each other.
Winston: [wry, quiet laugh]

[As Officer Daniels walks in on Winston & Aly kissing:]
Winston: There is that hand I was looking for.
Aly: Good job, officer.
Winston: Yeah.
Aly: Hey, Daniels.
Winston: Hey.
Daniels: Hey, guys. TGI Thursday, am I right? Okay. As you were. [exits]
Aly: [sighs]
Winston: That was close.
Aly: He saw us.

Jess: Do you think this neckline is too risque? No secret, your girls got bombs.
Schmidt: She does, and normally, there's nothing I'd rather talk about, but Kim is on a rampage and I forgot about this fakakta report that's due. If she finds you here helping with the wedding...
Kim: Schmidt!
Schmidt: Ha, ho... You walk on cat feet, you do.
Kim: Who is this?
Schmidt: Who's who?
Kim: This woman between us. There's no one else I could be talking about.
Schmidt: There's so many women in this office.
Kim: Who is this woman between us sitting on the couch, Schmidt?
Schmidt: I'm so lost.
Kim: Her.
Schmidt: Now I see her. Hi.
Jess: Hi.
Schmidt: Jess is... She's the new temp.
Jess: I'm Jess, the new temp.
Kim: Good, I need someone. Come with me. Up, let's go. Looks like you make your own jewelry. I'm gonna tell you right now, I don't want to hear about it.
Jess: [whispering] She's mean.
Kim: [o.s.] Temp! Come!

Schmidt: Jess, this is a disaster. We need to get you out of here before Kim actually puts my balls in the jar on her desk "for Schmidt's balls." We need an excuse so airtight that she'll have to let you leave.
Jess: I got it.
[cut to:]
Jess: My mother is in grave danger.
Kim: No, she's not. Pick up my kids.

Winston: So I take it this, you know, stays between us?
Daniels: Oh, absolutely. Come on. Are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Aly: Oh, my gosh.
Daniels: Yeah, just give me $5,000 and, uh, we're good.
Aly: What?
Winston: But you were so nice.
Daniels: Oh, I am, very nice, yeah. But I'm also a guy with a huge gambling problem, you know? Mostly on the ponies, but last night, I lost 60 large on a big game of "I Spy." [chuckles] Just didn't see that tree. What are you gonna do? [laughs] Yeah.

Sergeant: So... You two are hooking up.
Aly: Yes, but...
Winston: Yeah...
Aly: First of all, it's, like, so new...
Sergeant: I get it. I get it. Winston is hot as hell. Some days, I'd like to drawer this badge and hold him like a baby.
Winston: [chokes] What?
Sergeant: [deep growl]

Jess: You can't fire Schmidt. You... give him his job back.
Kim: That's not going to happen.
Jess: Are you sure you want to say that to the person who saw your schedule? Who would a married woman be meeting at a hotel tonight?
Kim: My father.
Jess: Oh! [laughs] Well, that sounds nice.
Kim: Who the hell are you?
Jess: I'm Jess. I'm Schmidt's friend and I'm not a temp. I teach at Banyon Canyon.
Kim: Banyon Canyon? I tried to get my kids in there but there's been some resistance. They're biters.
Jess: Hard to get in Banyon Canyon. Don't know what it's worth to have a friend on the inside.