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‘Dress’ Quotes

New Girl: Dress

519. Dress

Aired May 3, 2016

Schmidt takes Jess to his quiet place when she needs to focus on fixing Cece's wedding dress. Meanwhile, Winston and Aly try to hide their feelings for each other at work.

Quote from Aly

Winston: So... Which one of us takes the blackmailing gambling addict?
Aly: I'll take him. Can't be worse than the job I had before this... Photographing those idiot babies.
[flashback:]
Aly: Uncross your eyes, you idiot baby. [baby cries]
[present:]
Winston: Is that why you have all those pictures of crying babies dressed as vegetables in your living room?
Aly: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Winston: Yeah, that was weird.

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Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Jess, what if I told you that there was a place... Where you could work in peace.
[cut to:]
Jess: Um... Schmidt, this is the men's room at your office.
Schmidt: Oh, no, this is my wedding workshop. See, I'm the only guy in the building. Well, except, of course, for Brian but, you know, I pay Brian eight dollars a day to do his poops at the big box store across the street.
Jess: That seems high. When do you do the work that you get paid for?
Schmidt: Rarely, and it's a problem, but, you know, we couldn't afford a planner, so, here we are. Please... Have a seat at the think sink.
Jess: Oh. Hmm. Don't mind if I do. [laughs] I like its energy. I will create a dress today.
Schmidt: If you need anything, just let me know. Also... There's a fridge stocked with sparkling water in stall three.

Quote from Jess

Jess: I'm freaking out. I've been working on this for months. It's just... It has to be perfect. This dress is gonna be in every single picture, and people will say, "Cece, why do you look so bad?" Also, "Who is that murdered woman in the background?" And the answer to both would be: Jess.
Schmidt: This is true. I see this happening exactly how you described it.

Quote from Aly

Aly: You know this is blackmail... and you're a police officer.
Daniels: Oh... I am a disaster. So here's the thing. Should I... Do we have a deal or do I go to the sergeant? How do we want to...?
Aly: You don't own us. You know what... Everybody, Bishop and I are...
Winston: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you sure about this?
Aly: Yes. Yeah, I've never been more sure of anything. Hey, everyone, Bishop and I are dating. All right? That's right. We are rubbing butts and we don't care who knows it.

Quote from Jess

Jess: J'accuse, Parikh! Cette soupe est trop chaude.
Cece: You just said, "I accuse you," and, "the soup is too hot"?
Jess: Indeed, it is. I told you you could see your wedding dress when I'm finished with it.

Quote from Aly

Nick: We have a situation. I want to ask Reagan to the wedding, so I-I sent her a text to say, "Hey, how's your spring looking?" That was an hour ago. No response.
Aly: Mm. [eating] Dead. Maybe she's dead.
Winston: Yeah.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Maybe-maybe she doesn't miss me, or maybe she forgot me. How could she forget me after I gave her my body?
Winston: I thought you guys didn't have sex.
Nick: Uh, outercourse. It counts.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Ah! Why did I say that? There was no reason for me to say that. I can't work like this. You have to get her out of here. I can't take my idea walks.
Schmidt: Your idea walks? How did you become such an important part of my life?
Jess: When I craft, I like to get out of my space, bop around. I use movement and scenery to tickle the old idea box, but I can't do that now, 'cause every ten minutes Cece comes in here, like, "Hey, Jessica, that dress is gonna be gangbusters, polka dots."
Schmidt: That's a really good Cece. Also a passable Sinatra.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: You wanted to see me, Kim?
Kim: Schmidt. Why did you copy me on all these e-mails you sent planning your wedding?
Schmidt: What? Oh. [clears throat] Darn it. Sorry about that. Um, Kim is actually also the name of our chef's new assistant.
Kim: To your florist: "Beaming over the peony centerpieces. No chance I'll get work done today." To your dj: "fat wet beats..."
Schmidt: FWB.
Kim: "What about a swing theme for cocktail hour? I'll spend the day brainstorming tracks. Out."
Schmidt: I'm no longer with fat wet beats. We had a few conversations and he was being a straight-up ho.
Kim: Is this what you've been doing instead of the regional brand report? It was due three days ago.
Schmidt: That. Yes. Of course, I'm gonna have that to you in... Why are you Sm... why you smiling... at me like that?
Kim: I'm imagining what it would be like to fire you. The same feeling I had when we unplugged my mother-in-law. Beep... Beep... Beep... [smiles]
Schmidt: Is that legal... In California?
Kim: You've been warned. If I catch you doing anything at all related to your wedding, you are out.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Uh, did Regan text you back yet?
Cece: In the past three minutes, no.
Nick: Son of a bi... o-okay, you know what? Plan B. I'm texting her from my burner.
Cece: Hmm?
Winston: Why do you have a burner phone?
Nick: [chuckles] That's an insane question, dude. [laughs]
Winston: That's not an answer.
Cece: A burner is crazy.

Quote from Nick

Cece: Look, if Reagan had her phone, she would have texted me back. She's probably on a plane or in a spa or...
Nick: [phone blips] Well, she just responded.
Cece: What?!
Nick: I said, "What are you doing for dinner?" And she just texted back, "Who dis?" So I'm gonna text, "Who you think dis is?" [laughs] So now we play the waiting game. [phone blips] "Karen?" She thinks I'm Karen. Oh, yeah, I can be Karen... And Karen's gonna get some answers.
Winston: You know, as a cop, I find this to be very disturbing. But as a friend... [wry chuckle] Man, this is straight-up delicious.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Ooh, uh, P-Penelope. Have you seen a girl wandering around? Um, look-looks like a drawing of a best friend that an eight-year-old would make.

Quote from Jess

Cece: [on the phone] Hey, Jess, so, you know, just-just give me something to hold onto. Just tell me about the dress. [children screaming] Are you with kids right now? [children shouting]
Jess: No, no. [child grunting] Did you just rip that book in half? What are you, the Hulk?

Quote from Aly

Sergeant: Anyway, you can't be partners while you're dating. I'll, uh, split you and assign one of you to our floater.
Winston: What? Daniels?!
Aly: That guy tried to blackmail us.
Sergeant: That jelly bean? [laughs] Nice try. [laughing] Bishop, uh, can I take a picture of you eating a Popsicle?
Winston: What? No.
Aly: Just do it.

Quote from Schmidt

Jess: Oh, my God, I can't believe we got fired.
Schmidt: You never had a job here.
Jess: I'm so sorry, Schmidt.
Schmidt: It's not your fault. Entirely. I knew if I took my eye off the ball, these estrogen zombies would suck out my soul, but boy, did I love working here. I loved every one of these malnourished, high-strung sociopaths.

Quote from Nick

Cece: It means that she's thinking about you, so that's... that's good.
Nick: Most "derfinitely."
Cece: I'm sorry.
Nick: No, why sorry?
Cece: This is a success.
Nick: "Derfinitely, derfinitely, derfinitely."
Cece: I'm sorry, Nick; I am.
Nick: Turn "fiddy cent" into a dollar.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Whatever you do, don't let Nick touch it. I'm sure he's got lasagna all under his fingernails.


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