Jess Quote #1028
Jess: You can't fire Schmidt. You... give him his job back.
Kim: That's not going to happen.
Jess: Are you sure you want to say that to the person who saw your schedule? Who would a married woman be meeting at a hotel tonight?
Kim: My father.
Jess: Oh! [laughs] Well, that sounds nice.
Kim: Who the hell are you?
Jess: I'm Jess. I'm Schmidt's friend and I'm not a temp. I teach at Banyon Canyon.
Kim: Banyon Canyon? I tried to get my kids in there but there's been some resistance. They're biters.
Jess: Hard to get in Banyon Canyon. Don't know what it's worth to have a friend on the inside.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dress’ Quotes
Quote from Aly
Winston: So... Which one of us takes the blackmailing gambling addict?
Aly: I'll take him. Can't be worse than the job I had before this... Photographing those idiot babies.
[flashback:]
Aly: Uncross your eyes, you idiot baby. [baby cries]
[present:]
Winston: Is that why you have all those pictures of crying babies dressed as vegetables in your living room?
Aly: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Winston: Yeah, that was weird.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Jess, what if I told you that there was a place... Where you could work in peace.
[cut to:]
Jess: Um... Schmidt, this is the men's room at your office.
Schmidt: Oh, no, this is my wedding workshop. See, I'm the only guy in the building. Well, except, of course, for Brian but, you know, I pay Brian eight dollars a day to do his poops at the big box store across the street.
Jess: That seems high. When do you do the work that you get paid for?
Schmidt: Rarely, and it's a problem, but, you know, we couldn't afford a planner, so, here we are. Please... Have a seat at the think sink.
Jess: Oh. Hmm. Don't mind if I do. [laughs] I like its energy. I will create a dress today.
Schmidt: If you need anything, just let me know. Also... There's a fridge stocked with sparkling water in stall three.
Quote from Aly
Aly: You know this is blackmail... and you're a police officer.
Daniels: Oh... I am a disaster. So here's the thing. Should I... Do we have a deal or do I go to the sergeant? How do we want to...?
Aly: You don't own us. You know what... Everybody, Bishop and I are...
Winston: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you sure about this?
Aly: Yes. Yeah, I've never been more sure of anything. Hey, everyone, Bishop and I are dating. All right? That's right. We are rubbing butts and we don't care who knows it.