Jess Quote #1026
Schmidt: Jess, this is a disaster. We need to get you out of here before Kim actually puts my balls in the jar on her desk "for Schmidt's balls." We need an excuse so airtight that she'll have to let you leave.
Jess: I got it.
[cut to:]
Jess: My mother is in grave danger.
Kim: No, she's not. Pick up my kids.
New Girl Quotes
‘Dress’ Quotes
Quote from Aly
Winston: So... Which one of us takes the blackmailing gambling addict?
Aly: I'll take him. Can't be worse than the job I had before this... Photographing those idiot babies.
[flashback:]
Aly: Uncross your eyes, you idiot baby. [baby cries]
[present:]
Winston: Is that why you have all those pictures of crying babies dressed as vegetables in your living room?
Aly: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Winston: Yeah, that was weird.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Jess, what if I told you that there was a place... Where you could work in peace.
[cut to:]
Jess: Um... Schmidt, this is the men's room at your office.
Schmidt: Oh, no, this is my wedding workshop. See, I'm the only guy in the building. Well, except, of course, for Brian but, you know, I pay Brian eight dollars a day to do his poops at the big box store across the street.
Jess: That seems high. When do you do the work that you get paid for?
Schmidt: Rarely, and it's a problem, but, you know, we couldn't afford a planner, so, here we are. Please... Have a seat at the think sink.
Jess: Oh. Hmm. Don't mind if I do. [laughs] I like its energy. I will create a dress today.
Schmidt: If you need anything, just let me know. Also... There's a fridge stocked with sparkling water in stall three.
Quote from Aly
Aly: You know this is blackmail... and you're a police officer.
Daniels: Oh... I am a disaster. So here's the thing. Should I... Do we have a deal or do I go to the sergeant? How do we want to...?
Aly: You don't own us. You know what... Everybody, Bishop and I are...
Winston: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you sure about this?
Aly: Yes. Yeah, I've never been more sure of anything. Hey, everyone, Bishop and I are dating. All right? That's right. We are rubbing butts and we don't care who knows it.