Quote from Jess in Dress
Schmidt: Jess, this is a disaster. We need to get you out of here before Kim actually puts my balls in the jar on her desk "for Schmidt's balls." We need an excuse so airtight that she'll have to let you leave. Jess: I got it. [cut to:] Jess: My mother is in grave danger. Kim: No, she's not. Pick up my kids.