Lieutenant Disher: How'd you sleep?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Sleep, what's that? T.K. won't come to my house, she doesn't feel safe there. So we go to her place. 2 am, a car alarm goes off, she gets freaked out, we end up spending the night at the Bayside Motel on route 10. She wound up crying all night. Whoever this guy is, he's ruining my life.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, that's supposed to be my job.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Exactly.

Lieutenant Disher: I got the lab report on the car last night, no big surprise, gasoline accelerant.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Gas can?
Lieutenant Disher: No gas can.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Witnesses?
Lieutenant Disher: No witnesses.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So what do you think?
Lieutenant Disher: I think somebody's trying to scare you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: But why? I mean, it doesn't track. If the guy wants a piece of me, if he wants to hurt me, why doesn't he come at me? What's all this cat and mouse crap?

Captain Stottlemeyer: What's that?
Lieutenant Disher: It's the burn victim from the park, we might have an I.D. Been checking flower shops. Remember Monk found that green styrofoam?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I remember, I was there.
Lieutenant Disher: There's a flower shop up in Pacific Heights. One of their clerks has been missing since Tuesday.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You and Monk go check it out. I can't go 'cause I'm trying to save my marriage here.
Lieutenant Disher: Yes, sir. [exits]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm trying to save my marriage and I ain't even married yet. [chuckles]

Adrian Monk: You smell that? They should open some windows.
Natalie: I think it smells wonderful. I bet you heaven smells just like this.
Adrian Monk: I bet it doesn't. $20.

Joy: Hey, hi. Welcome to Affinity. I'm Joy. How can I help you?
Adrian Monk: Are you the owner?
Joy: I don't like that word "owner." You can't own a piece of nature, right?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, but your name's on the lease, right? I mean, it's a store.

Lieutenant Disher: And do you have an address for Charlie?
Joy: No! That is the thing! I wish I did and I don't.
Lieutenant Disher: So you don't know where he lived.
Joy: No.
Lieutenant Disher: Could you check your records? I'm sure it's on one of his W-2's.
Joy: I'm not gonna lie to you, I have to be honest. I'm a truth-teller. I don't think he ever filled out any forms. I just paid him in cash once a week off the books. He didn't believe in banks.
Lieutenant Disher: That's against the law.
Joy: Well, whose law?
Adrian Monk: Whose law?!
Joy: Exactly!

Lieutenant Disher: So you don't even know if Charlie Doyle was his real name.
Joy: Well, I never asked him. For instance, Joy is not my real name. It's just... How I feel. [to Natalie] Oh, I knew it. I knew it from the moment that you walked in here. You are a butterfly orchid.
Natalie: I am?
Joy: Yes, you are. I believe that everyone has a special flower that speaks to them. Sort of a floral soul mate, you know?
Adrian Monk: Mmm-hmm.
Joy: I am, of course, tiger Lily.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me.
Joy: [giggles] I think I scared him. [to Disher] And you are.. A sweet little crocus. Just a bud.
Lieutenant Disher: Huh. I always felt like a crocus. No, I'm not kidding. [chuckles]
Joy: I'm always right.

Joy: And you are...
Adrian Monk: Uncomfortable.
Joy: No, don't be uncomfortable. Look around you at all the beauty in here.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah.
Joy: You know, I think something is wrong. Your aura is a very dark place.
Adrian Monk: Thank you.
Joy: It just doesn't have joy in it. So let me think. What is your flower.
Adrian Monk: Randy.
Lieutenant Disher: Ma'am, do you happen to have a picture of Charlie?
Joy: Oh, he doesn't like photographs. He's a very private person, I respect that. [to Monk] I know. A thistle.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Joy: No, a cactus!

Adrian Monk: You're not even gonna ask him?
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, it's crazy, don't mention it again.
Lieutenant Disher: Hey, how you guys doing?
Natalie: Mr. Monk wants to walk T.K.'s father down the aisle.
Adrian Monk: We're the exact same height. I mean, how often does that happen?
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I'm sure he would like to walk his daughter down the aisle.
Adrian Monk: Well, she can walk behind us. Just ask him. I'm talking about the exact same height. Think how cool that would look.

Lieutenant Disher: Look, I've got some news. I just got off the phone with Ralph Toplyn from the FBI. The missing clerk from the flower store, they ran his prints. His real name is Martin Kettering.
Natalie: Kettering, I know that name.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, he's a fugitive. He's been on the FBI's most wanted list for 12 years. He was in some eco-terrorist group called the Earth Avengers.
Adrian Monk: I remember them. They blew up a bunch of condos in Denver.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, which killed two security guards and a fireman. This whole group, Kettering and three others, they been on the run ever since.
Natalie: Is he the burn victim?
Lieutenant Disher: We just got the DNA test back. It's definitely him.